The other day marked the 24th anniversary of the passing of my partner's father. It is always a difficult time of year for her.
Driving to work on that day the radio had a feature interviewing people at the airport. One interview in particular caught my ear. One lady said she was coming home to Winnipeg with her husband because her mother was dying and wouldn't be around much longer.
I got yo work and called my partner and said I was feeling weepy and thinking of my partner's dad. Shelley and her dad were best friends. They had a special relationship, she was his spitfire, a go getter, good student and a Page in the House of Commons. I know where Shelley got her quick wit and intellect. I am sorry I never got to meet him. I feel that I know him and what a great man he was through Shelley.
My partner says that people need to be supportive and non-judgemental of others. Advise she gained from her father. I have struggled and continued to struggle wth this. I have been too quick to judge. If I was still this way I would not be in the relationship I am in now.
I first met Shelley 10 years ago and my first impression was not positive. I thought she was conceited, full of herself and a phony. I formed my opinion from one phone call with her where I barely got a word in edge wise and one in person where I heard her giving a speech where I perceived that she was lecturing the audience. My opinion was based solely on this. I didn't know anything about her. How wrong first impressions are?
Years later she told me that she thought I was a conceited, arrogant prick. How we came together in 2010 was fate and through a little shove from a mutual friend at the time. She reached out and asked me for help with a speech. I agreed and we met a couple of times.
In July of that year I was floundering as usual with women, pursuing something that wasn't there. We were texting back and forth when suddenly she stopped for no reason. I went and moped for a few days. I heard a voice saying take a risk (something my father was prone to say to me). Another voice popped into my head saying Shelley.
I knew exactly what to do. As any self confident male would do I asked her out on a date via email. It took her about a day to respond saying yes.
We met a couple of days later for drinks and appetizers. As usual the date started out well, then soured when we left the restaurant to go for a drive. It seemed that every street had a detour or construction. When I dropped her off, she had that look that said get me out of here and quick. I thought I blew it again.
A couple of days later she phoned and set up our next date. Over the next 6 years we have had our moments and are very much in love with each other, with bigger and better things to come.
Merry Christmas to all and have a great 2017.
Sunday, 25 December 2016
Christmas Reflections Part 1
Christmas for a lot of people is not always the happiest of times. For myself, I find my mental health wavers during December. The reason for this is my outer personality presents as a Scrooge and my inner personality loves the spirit of the season. My partner is among several of my friends who are grieving during this time due to a loss of a parent or a sibling.
I love Christmas because I like playing Santa Claus and bringing smiles to people of all ages. I embrace the real meaning of Christmas and enjoy doing the little things to make people happy. Going the extra mile to help someone out in need.
Over the last 10 years I have come along way and changed dramatically. I was insecure, distant, jealous and an envious shit of a man surrounded by negativity. This was most evident at Christmas time.
I have come a long way and still have a ways to go. The other day I was having lunch with my work friend. We first met 10 years ago and she saw me then as a closed, distant hard to get a read on and hard to know. Now she sees me as an open book, confident, funny and good to be around. We have become good friends where we can share openly with each other.
In the past I have been to quick to judge and I would reject and dismiss people before they had a chance to reject and dismiss me. Each day I am learning to become more supportive and less judgemental.
The other day I was at the bar for a drink and another patron who had been there for a while and had a few too many started to become belligerent when he was cut off. He started swearing at everyone and refused to leave when asked.
What brought on this behaviour, I will never know. Maybe Christmas is not a good time of year for him. The lesson learned is walk a mile in another' shoes and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. We do not know what they are dealing with.
I do not have all my shit together and I need to afford others the same courtesy.
I love Christmas because I like playing Santa Claus and bringing smiles to people of all ages. I embrace the real meaning of Christmas and enjoy doing the little things to make people happy. Going the extra mile to help someone out in need.
Over the last 10 years I have come along way and changed dramatically. I was insecure, distant, jealous and an envious shit of a man surrounded by negativity. This was most evident at Christmas time.
I have come a long way and still have a ways to go. The other day I was having lunch with my work friend. We first met 10 years ago and she saw me then as a closed, distant hard to get a read on and hard to know. Now she sees me as an open book, confident, funny and good to be around. We have become good friends where we can share openly with each other.
In the past I have been to quick to judge and I would reject and dismiss people before they had a chance to reject and dismiss me. Each day I am learning to become more supportive and less judgemental.
The other day I was at the bar for a drink and another patron who had been there for a while and had a few too many started to become belligerent when he was cut off. He started swearing at everyone and refused to leave when asked.
What brought on this behaviour, I will never know. Maybe Christmas is not a good time of year for him. The lesson learned is walk a mile in another' shoes and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. We do not know what they are dealing with.
I do not have all my shit together and I need to afford others the same courtesy.
Monday, 19 December 2016
The Spirit of the Season
It is the week before Christmas and as I blogged earlier I am conflicted by the Christmas season.
Thirty years ago Christmas Eve my Sunday school students had just presented their portion of the Christmas concert. Out of nowhere my brother shows up with a Santa Claus suit. He wants me to dress and go to his sister-in-law's place.
As I was changing into the suit and after I had gotten dressed my students came by and said hi Andrew. I went and played Santa Claus that night and thus began a love/hate affair I have with the Christmas season.
I love dressing up and playing Santa Claus and bringing joy to everyone. For seven years I was Santa Claus for my company's kid's Christmas party. In latter years I have been Santa Claus at the personal care home where my partner works. From the young to the old the reactions are the same smile, awe, excitement and people trying to pull off your beard. I would also do visits for friends and their kids, siblings or parents. Everyone enjoyed a visit from Santa Claus.
On December 24, 1997 I agreed to be Santa for my friends sister who was in hospital. After work I came home and changed into my suit and set out on the drive across town. People would honk at me at traffic lights. Kids would point through car windows with big smiles on their faces.
I parked across the street from the hospital and grabbed my basket of candy canes. A transit bus had stopped at the traffic light. I crossed the street and he tooted and motioned me to the bus door. I got in the bus and said my HoHoHo's and passed out candy canes.
Five minutes later I walked in the hospital front door. As I walked to the elevator I stopped and said hi to everyone I saw. My heart was pounding and I was hoping that when the door opened it would be empty. It was.
I had four floors to compose myself. The elevator doors opened and my friend was waiting for me. We hugged and she thanked me for doing this. The room was at the far end of the hall past the nursing station. Anyone in the hallway I stopped and talked to.
Finally we reached the room. My heart was pounding and I was sweating on the inside. My friend asked if I was ready, I said lets do it and did a quick check to ready and steady myself.
I walked into the room ringing my bells saying HoHoHo and Merry Christmas greeting the 3 other people in the room. I turned around and saw Bonnie lying on the bed with tubes in her. I reached my hand out and touched her hand, at this moment a wry but pleasant smile came on her face. Her mouth opened and she let out a snort of laughter. A calm came over me and all that nervousness went away. I stayed for a while, lots of pictures were taken, and I made my farewell and my friend walked me to the elevator. While waiting for the elevator, a woman came to me and asked me to visit her husband.
I walked into a room and saw a motionless gentleman with his mouth agape. I reached out and took his hand. He tried to talk but no words came. All of a sudden, a little smile came across his face. The smile grew.
I stayed for a while and his wife hugged me as I left. She had tears streaming down her face. She thanked me and told me her husband had a severe stroke months ago. She told me that today was his first smile since the strike. I thanked her and wished her a Merry Christmas.
I was glad the elevator was empty. I was still numb when I stepped into the cold winter air. I cried all the way to my car. Tears of joy and gratitude.
I was so sincerely humbled and proud that I could positively affect someone. This was the spirit of Christmas. Every time I become Santa, I recall this day confident that I carry the Christmas spirit with me.
Thirty years ago Christmas Eve my Sunday school students had just presented their portion of the Christmas concert. Out of nowhere my brother shows up with a Santa Claus suit. He wants me to dress and go to his sister-in-law's place.
As I was changing into the suit and after I had gotten dressed my students came by and said hi Andrew. I went and played Santa Claus that night and thus began a love/hate affair I have with the Christmas season.
I love dressing up and playing Santa Claus and bringing joy to everyone. For seven years I was Santa Claus for my company's kid's Christmas party. In latter years I have been Santa Claus at the personal care home where my partner works. From the young to the old the reactions are the same smile, awe, excitement and people trying to pull off your beard. I would also do visits for friends and their kids, siblings or parents. Everyone enjoyed a visit from Santa Claus.
On December 24, 1997 I agreed to be Santa for my friends sister who was in hospital. After work I came home and changed into my suit and set out on the drive across town. People would honk at me at traffic lights. Kids would point through car windows with big smiles on their faces.
I parked across the street from the hospital and grabbed my basket of candy canes. A transit bus had stopped at the traffic light. I crossed the street and he tooted and motioned me to the bus door. I got in the bus and said my HoHoHo's and passed out candy canes.
Five minutes later I walked in the hospital front door. As I walked to the elevator I stopped and said hi to everyone I saw. My heart was pounding and I was hoping that when the door opened it would be empty. It was.
I had four floors to compose myself. The elevator doors opened and my friend was waiting for me. We hugged and she thanked me for doing this. The room was at the far end of the hall past the nursing station. Anyone in the hallway I stopped and talked to.
Finally we reached the room. My heart was pounding and I was sweating on the inside. My friend asked if I was ready, I said lets do it and did a quick check to ready and steady myself.
I walked into the room ringing my bells saying HoHoHo and Merry Christmas greeting the 3 other people in the room. I turned around and saw Bonnie lying on the bed with tubes in her. I reached my hand out and touched her hand, at this moment a wry but pleasant smile came on her face. Her mouth opened and she let out a snort of laughter. A calm came over me and all that nervousness went away. I stayed for a while, lots of pictures were taken, and I made my farewell and my friend walked me to the elevator. While waiting for the elevator, a woman came to me and asked me to visit her husband.
I walked into a room and saw a motionless gentleman with his mouth agape. I reached out and took his hand. He tried to talk but no words came. All of a sudden, a little smile came across his face. The smile grew.
I stayed for a while and his wife hugged me as I left. She had tears streaming down her face. She thanked me and told me her husband had a severe stroke months ago. She told me that today was his first smile since the strike. I thanked her and wished her a Merry Christmas.
I was glad the elevator was empty. I was still numb when I stepped into the cold winter air. I cried all the way to my car. Tears of joy and gratitude.
I was so sincerely humbled and proud that I could positively affect someone. This was the spirit of Christmas. Every time I become Santa, I recall this day confident that I carry the Christmas spirit with me.
Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Peace on Earth
Here we are December, last month of the year and the holidays to boot. The Christmas Season. A time where I give an outworldy appearance of being a scrooge. Inwardly, I enjoy Christmas and the true spirit of the season.
Doing the little things; going the extra mile to lend a helping hand or put a smile on someone's face. One thing I do and have done for the past 30 years is be Santa Claus (I have my own suit). Last week I was Santa Claus at my partner's work a Personal Care Home. The smiles on the residents faces melts my heart. They are so appreciative and excited to see me. Some of the residents follow me around singing, dancing and trying to pull my beard off.
This year I had an assistant, one of the nurse's sons went around with me handing out candy canes. Ben was so excited that when his mom tried to take him to the mall to see Santa, he told the Santa you are not real, the real Santa comes to my mom's work.
An ultimate compliment paid to me.
You are probably thinking he plays Santa Claus how can I be scrooge. Well I cannot stand the idea of buying presents for people who will not appreciate it no matter what is given. I cannot stand the idea that the gift giving is about outdoing each other to see who gets the biggest, baddest, best present of them all. The stores start advertising and selling Christmas merchandise earlier and earlier each year. By the time December 25th rolls around I am already sick of the commercialization of it.
It can be a very depressing time and I know my mental health wavers at this time of year. The simplest of things can and do bring the brightest rewards.
Doing the little things; going the extra mile to lend a helping hand or put a smile on someone's face. One thing I do and have done for the past 30 years is be Santa Claus (I have my own suit). Last week I was Santa Claus at my partner's work a Personal Care Home. The smiles on the residents faces melts my heart. They are so appreciative and excited to see me. Some of the residents follow me around singing, dancing and trying to pull my beard off.
This year I had an assistant, one of the nurse's sons went around with me handing out candy canes. Ben was so excited that when his mom tried to take him to the mall to see Santa, he told the Santa you are not real, the real Santa comes to my mom's work.
An ultimate compliment paid to me.
You are probably thinking he plays Santa Claus how can I be scrooge. Well I cannot stand the idea of buying presents for people who will not appreciate it no matter what is given. I cannot stand the idea that the gift giving is about outdoing each other to see who gets the biggest, baddest, best present of them all. The stores start advertising and selling Christmas merchandise earlier and earlier each year. By the time December 25th rolls around I am already sick of the commercialization of it.
It can be a very depressing time and I know my mental health wavers at this time of year. The simplest of things can and do bring the brightest rewards.