Yesterday in Canada was Bell Let's Talk day. A national fundraising and awareness building for mental health by Bell Media. It raised over 6 million dollars. In their campaign they use Olympic champion Clara Hughes and comedian Howie Mandel. They share their stories of dealing with mental health.
It is a good idea, however, why just one day, why not every day or at least every day in January. In order to eliminate the stigma of mental health it needs action and talk every day. For me I have embraced my depression and talk about it every day.
Before I was diagnosed I was angry, irritable, moody and powerless. Post diagnosis I have become positive and powerful.
The other day I was leading a group discussion at an evening workshop on mental health. We were talking about the resources available to people dealing with mental health issues. We do not have enough resources and the waiting lists are long. When this happens people fall through the cracks. The system is overworked and fraught with holes.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. One in five people deal with mental health issues. A community grassroots approach is needed. Communities like churches, community centres and schools need to take the lead to create safe havens for people to come together to talk, do and support each other.
For me, I was trapped by the stigma of mental illness. I was like many people are cognizant that deep down something was wrong, however, I was too afraid to explore it. I was ashamed of admitting for fear of being labeled.
Yet ironically, once I was diagnosed I started to embrace my depression it became a freeing experience. I feel I am living prove of Let's Talk.
Once I started sharing, I connected with many people and realized that I had nothing to be afraid of and I was not alone. I began to have deeper relationships with people who before I only had superficial ones. The more I talked and listened I heard powerful stories of people supporting each other. I also heard tragedies of people reaching out and unable to get the help they sought.
I will continue to talk every day. This is a life long journey and you never know when someone needs to hear that they are never alone. I am always a work in progress, sometimes I also need a little extra support. In the beginning, talking was risky, now it is both freeing and rewarding.
Thursday, 26 January 2017
Saturday, 14 January 2017
Taking the Plunge
2017 has started with a bang, I proposed to my partner of 6 and a half years. She said yes.
I was confident of her positive response. In true Shelley fashion, she milked the situation by having an awkward silence of about 20 seconds.
I got down on one knee and presented the ring saying how much she means to me and how far we have grown together. How far we will go together. I love her very much and we complete each other. Shelley is my rock, keeps me grounded, provides inspiration and is not afraid to kick me in my ass when I need it.
Most of my friends had an inkling this moment was coming and are very excited for the 2 of us. One of my social media friends said it was my best move in years. I have been calling Shelley my fiancé and we both have smiles on our faces. I think she is more excited for me as it is my first marriage (second engagement) and her second marriage.
One of my work friends said " well you are no longer on the market" I have not considered myself in the market even when I was single. You see for the longest time I was shy and reserved and had trouble communicating with women. Strong women I found myself intimidated by and had a hard time relating and interacting with them.
I was not a player, didn't have many girlfriends 7 in total before Shelley. I have had a few dalliances and 2 one night stands. Around women I wad always full of hope and ended up trying to hard to impress that I would screw it up. I had many first dates, a few second dates and 7 girlfriends. Shelley has been my longest relationship.
So yes I was not in the market, I was on the periphery of the market. Everything changed when I met Shelley and more importantly after I came in touch and diagnosed with my depression.
I began to understand and recognize how messed up I was. Another work friend said " she has not seen me happier and confident than at this time in my life". A third work friend said " I am glad to know you, you are a great guy Andrew".
In the past, I would have dismissed compliments and done everything to negate the compliment. Now I am accepting of compliments. It is true, what you put out people see and you get back.
I am loving life right now and accepting of how life affects me and how I affect other people.
I was confident of her positive response. In true Shelley fashion, she milked the situation by having an awkward silence of about 20 seconds.
I got down on one knee and presented the ring saying how much she means to me and how far we have grown together. How far we will go together. I love her very much and we complete each other. Shelley is my rock, keeps me grounded, provides inspiration and is not afraid to kick me in my ass when I need it.
Most of my friends had an inkling this moment was coming and are very excited for the 2 of us. One of my social media friends said it was my best move in years. I have been calling Shelley my fiancé and we both have smiles on our faces. I think she is more excited for me as it is my first marriage (second engagement) and her second marriage.
One of my work friends said " well you are no longer on the market" I have not considered myself in the market even when I was single. You see for the longest time I was shy and reserved and had trouble communicating with women. Strong women I found myself intimidated by and had a hard time relating and interacting with them.
I was not a player, didn't have many girlfriends 7 in total before Shelley. I have had a few dalliances and 2 one night stands. Around women I wad always full of hope and ended up trying to hard to impress that I would screw it up. I had many first dates, a few second dates and 7 girlfriends. Shelley has been my longest relationship.
So yes I was not in the market, I was on the periphery of the market. Everything changed when I met Shelley and more importantly after I came in touch and diagnosed with my depression.
I began to understand and recognize how messed up I was. Another work friend said " she has not seen me happier and confident than at this time in my life". A third work friend said " I am glad to know you, you are a great guy Andrew".
In the past, I would have dismissed compliments and done everything to negate the compliment. Now I am accepting of compliments. It is true, what you put out people see and you get back.
I am loving life right now and accepting of how life affects me and how I affect other people.
Tuesday, 10 January 2017
2016 A Year of Great Loss Part 3
I am a proud Canadian and an even prouder Winnipeger. Winnipeg a city with small town charm and big city feel. A city of extremes, we go from 30 above C in summer to 30 below C in winter. We are guaranteed to have a white Christmas and this year snow fell the latest in sometime November 20.
Our country and city lost some great people last year from atheletes, musicians, authors, politicians, actors, newsman, business leaders and activists. They all were proud Canadians.
Morley Safer got his start on TV in small town Ontario and went on to be one of the most respected journalists in the United States with a long career on 60 minutes. WP Kinsella brought the story of Shoeless Joe Jackson to life and was one of the inspirations for one of my favorite movies Field Of Dreams.
Two of Canada's brightest business lights were extinguished this year, Ross Johnson CEO of Nabisco and Winnipeg legend Phil Kives who made K-Tel products into household names. Canadian indigenous rights advocate Don Marks who was instrumental in getting laws passed to protect and support indigenous people.
The political arena lost a number of people this year including Rod Zimmer a senator from Manitoba who's significant claim to fame was creating an air rage incident with his much younger wife. Former Alberta premier Jim Prentice died in a plane crash. Two former Canadian Football League players turned political figures. Don Getty played for Edmonton Eskimoes and was premier of Alberta. Norman Kwong also played for Edmonton and served as the queens representative Lt Governor of Alberta.
The former mayor of Saint John New Brunswick who was elected as one of 2 Conservative members of Parliament in 1993 Elsie Wayne. Controversial and polarizing mayor of Toronto Rob Ford died of cancer at 46. I hope he caught on that when he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel he was the brunt of all his jokes. Love him or hate him, he put Toronto on the map.
In addition to Gordie Howe Canada lost other prominent atheletes. Hockey players Andy Bathgate, Tom Lysiak and Rick MacLeish. The first Canadian female LPGA winner Dawn Coe-Jones and gruff aloof curler Vic Peters. He won Provincial and National championships and his kids are making their own mark on the game.
Other notables passed away this year. Shimon Peres and Fidel Castro were at opposites ends of the political spectrum in leading their countries. Or were they. Antonio Scalia left his mark on the fabric of the United States as Supreme Court justice. His seat is still unfilled.
John Glenn flew in space on 2 occasions and was a long time senator from Ohio. He definitely had the right stuff. Vera Rubin made many great scientific discoveries. We can all save people from choking because of Henry Heimlich. The patriarch of the Mars chocolate family Forrest Mars left us and his Las Vegas compound. Ellie Wiesel never let us forget the Holocust because he survived it.
Roscoe Brown one of the last members of the famous world war pilots the Tuskegee Airman. Joanne Lauer better known by her wrestling name Chyna was considered the strongest women in the world.
As my generation ages we will encounter more years like 2016. The people we grew up admiring are dying and we are so much richer for experiencing their creativity and talents. Whatever road life leads us down it will be memorable and remembered by those around us.
Our country and city lost some great people last year from atheletes, musicians, authors, politicians, actors, newsman, business leaders and activists. They all were proud Canadians.
Morley Safer got his start on TV in small town Ontario and went on to be one of the most respected journalists in the United States with a long career on 60 minutes. WP Kinsella brought the story of Shoeless Joe Jackson to life and was one of the inspirations for one of my favorite movies Field Of Dreams.
Two of Canada's brightest business lights were extinguished this year, Ross Johnson CEO of Nabisco and Winnipeg legend Phil Kives who made K-Tel products into household names. Canadian indigenous rights advocate Don Marks who was instrumental in getting laws passed to protect and support indigenous people.
The political arena lost a number of people this year including Rod Zimmer a senator from Manitoba who's significant claim to fame was creating an air rage incident with his much younger wife. Former Alberta premier Jim Prentice died in a plane crash. Two former Canadian Football League players turned political figures. Don Getty played for Edmonton Eskimoes and was premier of Alberta. Norman Kwong also played for Edmonton and served as the queens representative Lt Governor of Alberta.
The former mayor of Saint John New Brunswick who was elected as one of 2 Conservative members of Parliament in 1993 Elsie Wayne. Controversial and polarizing mayor of Toronto Rob Ford died of cancer at 46. I hope he caught on that when he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel he was the brunt of all his jokes. Love him or hate him, he put Toronto on the map.
In addition to Gordie Howe Canada lost other prominent atheletes. Hockey players Andy Bathgate, Tom Lysiak and Rick MacLeish. The first Canadian female LPGA winner Dawn Coe-Jones and gruff aloof curler Vic Peters. He won Provincial and National championships and his kids are making their own mark on the game.
Other notables passed away this year. Shimon Peres and Fidel Castro were at opposites ends of the political spectrum in leading their countries. Or were they. Antonio Scalia left his mark on the fabric of the United States as Supreme Court justice. His seat is still unfilled.
John Glenn flew in space on 2 occasions and was a long time senator from Ohio. He definitely had the right stuff. Vera Rubin made many great scientific discoveries. We can all save people from choking because of Henry Heimlich. The patriarch of the Mars chocolate family Forrest Mars left us and his Las Vegas compound. Ellie Wiesel never let us forget the Holocust because he survived it.
Roscoe Brown one of the last members of the famous world war pilots the Tuskegee Airman. Joanne Lauer better known by her wrestling name Chyna was considered the strongest women in the world.
As my generation ages we will encounter more years like 2016. The people we grew up admiring are dying and we are so much richer for experiencing their creativity and talents. Whatever road life leads us down it will be memorable and remembered by those around us.
Sunday, 8 January 2017
2016 A Year of Great Loss Part 2
The sports world lost some great people this year. From Olympic Champions, football players and coaches, hockey players, rising stars and recently retired. Those covering the game and three giants of their sport.
In 1984 Bill Johnson became the first American to win gold in downhill skiing. Marutis Yifter Ethiopian long distance 5,000 and 10,000 metre champion in 1980.
Long time football coaches like Lavell Edwards who built a legacy at BYU for 28 years and over 272 wins and a football stadium named after him. Dennis Green coached the Minnesota Vikings for 10 years was known for his famous quotes such as " the secret to success is to start from scratch and keep scratching ". Buddy Ryan was a Super Bowl Champion with Chicago Bears was known for his innovative defences.
Baseball lost a promising pitcher in the prime of his career in Jose Fernandez and also the wise cracking catcher turned broadcaster Joe Garagiola. The people who cover and broadcast sports took a hit this year. Bob Chase the long time voice of the Fort Wayne Komets was still calling games as recent as last year. Bud Collins the witty and remarkable tennis commentator who brought tennis into the mainstream. Jerry Greene and Blackie Sherrod spent over 60 years covering sports in Orlando and Dallas respectively. John Saunders ESPN broadcaster and proud Canadian. Craig Sagar colourful basketball sideline reporter. He worked the NBA finals for the first time this year.
New Orleans is a vibrant historic city. It also has a violent side which claimed the life of 2 recently retired NFL players in Will Smith and Joe McKnight. A former Heisman Trophy winner Rashed Saleem took his own life. Dennis Byrd who was paralyzed in an NFL game for the NY Jets died in a car accident.
One of the most creative, talented skilled soccer players who led Holland in 1974 and 1978 to consecutive World Cup finals Johann Cruyff. The former President of FIFA soccer's governing body Joao Haverlege who sparred with my father over women's soccer over the size of the soccer ball they would play with.
The greatest women's college basketball coach lost her battle with Alzheimer's. Pat Summit spent 38 years at Tennessee amassing the most career wins in college basketball history.
Arnold Palmer moved the game of golf forward in so many ways. His army followed him everywhere. A drink was named after him and if you wanted a product sold he was the ultimate spokesman.
Geordie Howe the greatest hockey player, played for 6 decades and with his 3 sons. The pride of Foam Lake Saskatchewan. He was Mr. Hockey. If a player scored a goal, got an assist and a fight in a game it was called the Gordie Howe hat trick.
They called him the greatest of all time. A formidable competitor who could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. A conscientious objector with regards to the Vietnam War. A spokesman for Parkinson's diesease when his body started to falter. He was Sports Illustrated's sportsman of the century. I will never forget the image of Muhamed Ali lighting the Olympic flame at the 1996 Atlanta Summer Games.
These great atheletes will be missed and remembered for their contributions in sports and life in general.
In 1984 Bill Johnson became the first American to win gold in downhill skiing. Marutis Yifter Ethiopian long distance 5,000 and 10,000 metre champion in 1980.
Long time football coaches like Lavell Edwards who built a legacy at BYU for 28 years and over 272 wins and a football stadium named after him. Dennis Green coached the Minnesota Vikings for 10 years was known for his famous quotes such as " the secret to success is to start from scratch and keep scratching ". Buddy Ryan was a Super Bowl Champion with Chicago Bears was known for his innovative defences.
Baseball lost a promising pitcher in the prime of his career in Jose Fernandez and also the wise cracking catcher turned broadcaster Joe Garagiola. The people who cover and broadcast sports took a hit this year. Bob Chase the long time voice of the Fort Wayne Komets was still calling games as recent as last year. Bud Collins the witty and remarkable tennis commentator who brought tennis into the mainstream. Jerry Greene and Blackie Sherrod spent over 60 years covering sports in Orlando and Dallas respectively. John Saunders ESPN broadcaster and proud Canadian. Craig Sagar colourful basketball sideline reporter. He worked the NBA finals for the first time this year.
New Orleans is a vibrant historic city. It also has a violent side which claimed the life of 2 recently retired NFL players in Will Smith and Joe McKnight. A former Heisman Trophy winner Rashed Saleem took his own life. Dennis Byrd who was paralyzed in an NFL game for the NY Jets died in a car accident.
One of the most creative, talented skilled soccer players who led Holland in 1974 and 1978 to consecutive World Cup finals Johann Cruyff. The former President of FIFA soccer's governing body Joao Haverlege who sparred with my father over women's soccer over the size of the soccer ball they would play with.
The greatest women's college basketball coach lost her battle with Alzheimer's. Pat Summit spent 38 years at Tennessee amassing the most career wins in college basketball history.
Arnold Palmer moved the game of golf forward in so many ways. His army followed him everywhere. A drink was named after him and if you wanted a product sold he was the ultimate spokesman.
Geordie Howe the greatest hockey player, played for 6 decades and with his 3 sons. The pride of Foam Lake Saskatchewan. He was Mr. Hockey. If a player scored a goal, got an assist and a fight in a game it was called the Gordie Howe hat trick.
They called him the greatest of all time. A formidable competitor who could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. A conscientious objector with regards to the Vietnam War. A spokesman for Parkinson's diesease when his body started to falter. He was Sports Illustrated's sportsman of the century. I will never forget the image of Muhamed Ali lighting the Olympic flame at the 1996 Atlanta Summer Games.
These great atheletes will be missed and remembered for their contributions in sports and life in general.
Tuesday, 3 January 2017
2016 A Year of Great Loss Part 1
Last week I went to a funeral for my friend's dad. It got me thinking about all of the great people the world lost in 2016. It seemed to be every week another icon would leave us. Was this year worse than others, or as a friend pointed out greats of my generation The Baby Boomer Generation are starting to die. It is affecting us, as we get older we begin to think about our own mortality.
The year started with a flourish and it affected the music world. David Bowie's death of liver cancer at 69 shocked me deeply. He was a great artist who was always one step ahead of the curve. I saw his first Winnipeg concert on a cool September night in 1983 the Serious Moonlight tour. His nickname " the thin white Duke fit him perfectly that night as he took the stage dressed in all white kicked a giant inflatable globe into the audience said " Hello Winnipeg " and sung Young Americans.
Next was Glenn Frey founding member of The Eagles, I saw them in concert in 1977 at the race track there Hotel Califonia tour, the stage was like a hotel lobby. Paul Kantner founder of Jefferson Airplane/Starship. In the 1980's with the university basketball team we listened to a lot of Motown/Funk music, particularly Maurice White who was Earth Wind and Fire lead singer.
Emerson Lake and Palmer were an 1980's rock band whose best song was Korn Evil 9 which had the famous intro " Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends. The show ended for Keith Emerson and Greg Lake.
Frank Sinatra Jr passed and with it the last remnants of his father's iconic voice. Country music lost Merle Haggard several months before he was to perform at the Dauphin Country Fest, Canada's largest country music celebration.
In April I was home sick when word came that Prince had died. I was not a fan of his, however, I respected his influence on the music world. He was as talented as any other musician. He loved Minneapolis and he loved mentoring young artists. Paisley Park will never be the same. Let it rain purple forever.
Teen idol and Canadian rock and roller Bobby Curtola left us not before leaving his mark in every corner of Canada. Two lesser known and greatly respected artists left us as well Pete Fountain who performed wonders with the clarinet and Sharon Jones with her soulful voice. The year ended with Geaorge Michael of Wham and Careless Whisper at age 53. One year older than me. He was a great humanitarian who helped out those in need all the time.
Life is do fragile and we only have one day at a time filled with growing pains. Pat Harrington was the wise cracking maintenance man on One Day at a Time and Alan Thicke was everyone's favorite TV dad on Growing Pains. These two actors book-ended a year of loss on TV and movies. Alan Thicke was one of Canada's greatest exports. He was an actor, talk show host and composer.
Alan Rickman talented British actor, my favorite role was Hans Gruber in Die Hard. Abe Vigoda the sardonic Det Fish in Barney Miller and later Snickers ads. George Kennedy played gruff characters who will be remembered by me for the captain in the Naked Gun movies.
One of my favorite shows from the 1980's lost its star Ken Howard in The White Shadow. An honest portrayal of high school in inner city Los Angeles. Garry Shandling told it like it was and made everyone laugh with him. He was Seinfeld before Seinfeld.
Two staunch mental health advocates and great actresses left us in Patty Duke and Carrie Fisher. Patty Duke was the Miracle Worker and Cartie Fisher was the Princess we all loved in Star Wars. My favorite Carrie Fisher moment was in Blues Brothers when she encounters Belushi and Ackroyd in the dark and starts shooting at them as Belushi tries to romance her. Debbie Reynolds passes one day after Carrie uttering I want to be with Carrie.
The mother everyone loved to hate in Everyone Loves Raymond Doris Roberts. The original Willy Wonka Gene Wilder who is now reunited with his one great love Gilda Radner. Ronnie Corbett of the Britsh comedy team the 2 Ronnies. The sage first district attorney in Law and Order Steven Hill. The dim witted Father Mulcahy on MASH William Christopher. The precursor to the Kardashians and who made celebrity socialite status famous Zza Zza Gabor.
The man who gave us such iconic characters as "The Fonz", Laverne and Shirley and turned Julia Roberts into a star with Pretty Women, Garry Marshall. The director of one of my favorite movies LA Confidential Curtis Hanson. Harper Lee who wrote "To Kill a Mockingbird" which produced Gregory Peck's epic performance in the movie of the same name. Richard Adams turned rabbits into heroic figures in Watership Down.
All of these people made significant impressions on my life and my generation. They all left behind wonderful memories with me and have affected society in a positive way. Their characters, books, songs, music, movies, TV shows will live on forever in our hearts, minds and souls.
The year started with a flourish and it affected the music world. David Bowie's death of liver cancer at 69 shocked me deeply. He was a great artist who was always one step ahead of the curve. I saw his first Winnipeg concert on a cool September night in 1983 the Serious Moonlight tour. His nickname " the thin white Duke fit him perfectly that night as he took the stage dressed in all white kicked a giant inflatable globe into the audience said " Hello Winnipeg " and sung Young Americans.
Next was Glenn Frey founding member of The Eagles, I saw them in concert in 1977 at the race track there Hotel Califonia tour, the stage was like a hotel lobby. Paul Kantner founder of Jefferson Airplane/Starship. In the 1980's with the university basketball team we listened to a lot of Motown/Funk music, particularly Maurice White who was Earth Wind and Fire lead singer.
Emerson Lake and Palmer were an 1980's rock band whose best song was Korn Evil 9 which had the famous intro " Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends. The show ended for Keith Emerson and Greg Lake.
Frank Sinatra Jr passed and with it the last remnants of his father's iconic voice. Country music lost Merle Haggard several months before he was to perform at the Dauphin Country Fest, Canada's largest country music celebration.
In April I was home sick when word came that Prince had died. I was not a fan of his, however, I respected his influence on the music world. He was as talented as any other musician. He loved Minneapolis and he loved mentoring young artists. Paisley Park will never be the same. Let it rain purple forever.
Teen idol and Canadian rock and roller Bobby Curtola left us not before leaving his mark in every corner of Canada. Two lesser known and greatly respected artists left us as well Pete Fountain who performed wonders with the clarinet and Sharon Jones with her soulful voice. The year ended with Geaorge Michael of Wham and Careless Whisper at age 53. One year older than me. He was a great humanitarian who helped out those in need all the time.
Life is do fragile and we only have one day at a time filled with growing pains. Pat Harrington was the wise cracking maintenance man on One Day at a Time and Alan Thicke was everyone's favorite TV dad on Growing Pains. These two actors book-ended a year of loss on TV and movies. Alan Thicke was one of Canada's greatest exports. He was an actor, talk show host and composer.
Alan Rickman talented British actor, my favorite role was Hans Gruber in Die Hard. Abe Vigoda the sardonic Det Fish in Barney Miller and later Snickers ads. George Kennedy played gruff characters who will be remembered by me for the captain in the Naked Gun movies.
One of my favorite shows from the 1980's lost its star Ken Howard in The White Shadow. An honest portrayal of high school in inner city Los Angeles. Garry Shandling told it like it was and made everyone laugh with him. He was Seinfeld before Seinfeld.
Two staunch mental health advocates and great actresses left us in Patty Duke and Carrie Fisher. Patty Duke was the Miracle Worker and Cartie Fisher was the Princess we all loved in Star Wars. My favorite Carrie Fisher moment was in Blues Brothers when she encounters Belushi and Ackroyd in the dark and starts shooting at them as Belushi tries to romance her. Debbie Reynolds passes one day after Carrie uttering I want to be with Carrie.
The mother everyone loved to hate in Everyone Loves Raymond Doris Roberts. The original Willy Wonka Gene Wilder who is now reunited with his one great love Gilda Radner. Ronnie Corbett of the Britsh comedy team the 2 Ronnies. The sage first district attorney in Law and Order Steven Hill. The dim witted Father Mulcahy on MASH William Christopher. The precursor to the Kardashians and who made celebrity socialite status famous Zza Zza Gabor.
The man who gave us such iconic characters as "The Fonz", Laverne and Shirley and turned Julia Roberts into a star with Pretty Women, Garry Marshall. The director of one of my favorite movies LA Confidential Curtis Hanson. Harper Lee who wrote "To Kill a Mockingbird" which produced Gregory Peck's epic performance in the movie of the same name. Richard Adams turned rabbits into heroic figures in Watership Down.
All of these people made significant impressions on my life and my generation. They all left behind wonderful memories with me and have affected society in a positive way. Their characters, books, songs, music, movies, TV shows will live on forever in our hearts, minds and souls.