I ride the bus on a regular basis. It is always interesting to see who rides the bus. Unfortunately, one of the hardest things to do is not pass judgement on other people.
We say we are non judgemental, it is the hardest thing to do to not pass judgement. Yet we do it every day. Passing judgement. Does it make us a bad person, depends?
Getting back to riding the bus, all ages, cultures, ethnicities ride the bus. Some are going to work, some are returning home. Some are just riding the bus for the sake of riding the bus.
Everyone is doing their best. Everyone has a unique story to tell. What we need to do is take a few minutes to listen to the story instead of passing judgement. Learn to walk a mile in another's shoes.
I make a point of always talking to the bus drivers. They have an unreal job and are heroes in my eyes. The city lost one of their brethren last year due to act of senseless violence. I have several friends who are bus drivers and they all have their battle scars and war stories to tell.
Last week we spent a night in the airport because we had an early morning flight. Yes we did it to save money. I had an unrealistic fear of being kicked out of the airport. Nothing was further from the truth and it was truly a great experience.
There were a half dozen other people doing the same thing. I wondered what their stories were. There was a red eye flight to Halifax that was delayed and all the passengers were eagerly waiting a 7 hour flight, many children looking so cute in their pj's. There was a flight to Abbotsford delayed because of a flat tire. Lots if interesting sights in an airport late at night. It was peaceful, quiet. Some found it easy to sleep. I and my partner could not. We passed the time with sudoku, crosswords and computer games. Before we knew it, our plane was ready to board.
I hope everyone can be less judgemental and more accepting and respectful. Happy New Year everyone.
Sunday, 31 December 2017
Wednesday, 27 December 2017
Irrational Fears and the Consequences
The other day, we had an early morning flight. We decided to arrive at the airport the night before a full 8 hours ahead of our flight. It turned out to be a great experience as time flew by. There were about half a dozen other people spending the night.
I was apprehensive and fearful of this. My worst fears were not realized and proved to be irrational and unsubstantiated. I was afraid we would be kicked out. Why was I afraid? What could happen.
Nothing.
I started thinking about other times in my life when I was afraid for what turned out to be no reason. Where was this overwhelming fear of gloom and doom coming from? I didn't have to look far.
My family, particularly my mother, instilled fear in me over practically everything and nothing. Growing up, it would be don't walk alone at night. Don't talk to strangers, be careful driving, don' t flash money, because you may be robbed. Don't smoke, don't do drugs or drink alcohol. Fairly common fears that our parents would talk to us about. However, in my case it was taken to another level.
Don't be too trusting of people because they will take advantage of you. Don't get involved with women who can take your money. People will try to steal your identity, make sure you protect your money, your cards, your PIN numbers. Let's be honest no one wants to steal my identity. Don't travel alone, don't let people listen in on your conversations.
The world is inherently bad and is out to take advantage of you. The only ones who can help you are your family. Family will protect you. They can also create fear when none exists and it gets ingrained into our fabric and not in a good way.
As a result of these fears being ingrained into my mind, I developed an overwhelming sense of fear. I can't help think that everytime i have irrational fears, the tolll it takes on my mental health. Anothet reason to get my fears in check and overcone them. This has dominated my life, my choices. What has it gotten me? Have I moved further in my life by living in fear. No, by always being fearful I have become I insular in my thinking, ideals. I have allowed fear to cloud my judgement.
With the help of my partner, I have been slowly picking away at my fears. However, they have become so ingrained that it will take time.
I have even overcome my fear of heights and now will go to the top of the CN tower in Toronto and stand and look down in the glass floor 103 stories up.
Some of my fears will take longer like my fear of snakes. However, the fear of being kicked out of an airport was absurd, irrational and inane n my part.
I resolve that in 2018 my life will not be run by fear. It will be filled with love, adventure, and positivity. If I do slip and become fearful over nothing, feel free to give me a swift kick in the you know where.
I was apprehensive and fearful of this. My worst fears were not realized and proved to be irrational and unsubstantiated. I was afraid we would be kicked out. Why was I afraid? What could happen.
Nothing.
I started thinking about other times in my life when I was afraid for what turned out to be no reason. Where was this overwhelming fear of gloom and doom coming from? I didn't have to look far.
My family, particularly my mother, instilled fear in me over practically everything and nothing. Growing up, it would be don't walk alone at night. Don't talk to strangers, be careful driving, don' t flash money, because you may be robbed. Don't smoke, don't do drugs or drink alcohol. Fairly common fears that our parents would talk to us about. However, in my case it was taken to another level.
Don't be too trusting of people because they will take advantage of you. Don't get involved with women who can take your money. People will try to steal your identity, make sure you protect your money, your cards, your PIN numbers. Let's be honest no one wants to steal my identity. Don't travel alone, don't let people listen in on your conversations.
The world is inherently bad and is out to take advantage of you. The only ones who can help you are your family. Family will protect you. They can also create fear when none exists and it gets ingrained into our fabric and not in a good way.
As a result of these fears being ingrained into my mind, I developed an overwhelming sense of fear. I can't help think that everytime i have irrational fears, the tolll it takes on my mental health. Anothet reason to get my fears in check and overcone them. This has dominated my life, my choices. What has it gotten me? Have I moved further in my life by living in fear. No, by always being fearful I have become I insular in my thinking, ideals. I have allowed fear to cloud my judgement.
With the help of my partner, I have been slowly picking away at my fears. However, they have become so ingrained that it will take time.
I have even overcome my fear of heights and now will go to the top of the CN tower in Toronto and stand and look down in the glass floor 103 stories up.
Some of my fears will take longer like my fear of snakes. However, the fear of being kicked out of an airport was absurd, irrational and inane n my part.
I resolve that in 2018 my life will not be run by fear. It will be filled with love, adventure, and positivity. If I do slip and become fearful over nothing, feel free to give me a swift kick in the you know where.
Wednesday, 6 December 2017
Still Learning Lessons From History
Today is December 6, 2017 a day of reflection for 2 sorrowful events in Canadian history. On this day in 1917 the Halifax Explosion occurred. Two ships one carrying explosives collided with one another in the harbor creating a massive fireball and killed 2000 people and left incredible damage. Laws were changed to improve the shipping of dangerous goods.
The city of Boston sent EMT personnel to Halifax to assist with the wounded and the recovery. Every year since 1970 Halifax has sent a Christmas tree to Boston to serve as the cities official tree. Beautiful partnership and generosity between cities.
The other event was the Montreal massacre. In 1989 14 vibrant and energetic lives were taken by a young man who had a beef against women. Every year the anniversary of the massacre has since been commemorated as the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.
It also led to more stringent gun control legislation.
This year the day is more poignant than ever in light of the daily revelations about sexual assault and harassment against women. Today Time magazine announced their person of the year. It is not a person. It is the ME TOO movement. A movement that has taken the world by storm and is a long time coming.
I cannot fathom the emotional, mental and physical anguish women have had to endure. Rise up and continue to rise up. Your voices and stories are important and need to be heard.
What men once thought of as joke can no longer be viewed or shared. We have to learn to change our perspective. After all we are the weaker gender.
I would like to be able to say ME TOO, however, I say it in a different way. At many times throughout my life I have been bullied, taken advantage of, called names.
Some examples, in grade one I could not tie my shoes and was sent to the bathroom until I could tie my shoes. I spent many a lonely time in the bathroom learning to tie my shoes. At the age of 8, I started wearing glasses and was called 4 eyes. In my teen years I had a huge acne problem which people made fun of. Not to mention I was shy and immature.
At 15 my parents separated and I lived with my mother and essentially became a mamma's boy which I am only now starting to shed. I am 6 & 8 years younger than my brothers and am still seen as the little brother who they have to protect. At work in the past I have been bullied by managers and peers.
Yet here I am at 53 surviving and thriving happier and healthier than I have ever been. I have a wonderful career and a beautiful loving and supportive partner. I am in love with her children and our 20 month old grandson who adds so much joy to my life.
The city of Boston sent EMT personnel to Halifax to assist with the wounded and the recovery. Every year since 1970 Halifax has sent a Christmas tree to Boston to serve as the cities official tree. Beautiful partnership and generosity between cities.
The other event was the Montreal massacre. In 1989 14 vibrant and energetic lives were taken by a young man who had a beef against women. Every year the anniversary of the massacre has since been commemorated as the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.
It also led to more stringent gun control legislation.
This year the day is more poignant than ever in light of the daily revelations about sexual assault and harassment against women. Today Time magazine announced their person of the year. It is not a person. It is the ME TOO movement. A movement that has taken the world by storm and is a long time coming.
I cannot fathom the emotional, mental and physical anguish women have had to endure. Rise up and continue to rise up. Your voices and stories are important and need to be heard.
What men once thought of as joke can no longer be viewed or shared. We have to learn to change our perspective. After all we are the weaker gender.
I would like to be able to say ME TOO, however, I say it in a different way. At many times throughout my life I have been bullied, taken advantage of, called names.
Some examples, in grade one I could not tie my shoes and was sent to the bathroom until I could tie my shoes. I spent many a lonely time in the bathroom learning to tie my shoes. At the age of 8, I started wearing glasses and was called 4 eyes. In my teen years I had a huge acne problem which people made fun of. Not to mention I was shy and immature.
At 15 my parents separated and I lived with my mother and essentially became a mamma's boy which I am only now starting to shed. I am 6 & 8 years younger than my brothers and am still seen as the little brother who they have to protect. At work in the past I have been bullied by managers and peers.
Yet here I am at 53 surviving and thriving happier and healthier than I have ever been. I have a wonderful career and a beautiful loving and supportive partner. I am in love with her children and our 20 month old grandson who adds so much joy to my life.