Yesterday, I was out to pick up breakfast and an ambulance was behind me so I switched lanes as did all the other cars. At a traffic light one of the cars moved into the turning lane to avoid the ambulance. The light turned green and I waited to allow this driver to get back into the lane he was in before the ambulance. The car behind me started vigorously blaring his horn urging me to move. I waited for the car to get back into the correct lane. Throwing the driver behind me into complete rage blaring his horn and giving me the famous Pierre Elliott Trudeau salute otherwise known as flipping the bird. He double fisted it even.
As the car behind me now past me the driver threw up his hands in disgust and flipped me the bird again. I would not want to be the person this man meets up with. He is probably still full of rage.
I can relate because I used to be that man. I would fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. I would let it bother me for hours or days. Why?
I was full of anger, irritable, withdrawn, lonely, just mad at the world. I was not happy with my lot in life. I was feeling entitled when I had no reason to be. Wishing, hoping that the cards I was dealt in life were better that my position in life was better. I was fixated on the wrong things. Too much emphasis was placed on money and status which I had neither of.
I was searching. My coping mechanisms were non existent. I was trying to be a different person. I was living a lie.
Nine years ago this all changed. I had been unlucky in love and relationships, questioning my sexuality, my identity. Through the help of a friend at the time. I took a risk and ask a beautiful lady out on a date. Of course, I didn’t do this in person, or over the phone. It was via email. After a couple of hours of no response, I got discouraged and couldn’t deal with another rejection. Thinking it was never going to happen. I was in a bad way.
Than she said yes. Well the first date went okay not great by any means. We gave it another try and well 9 years later we are very much in love and have a great life. It has not all been roses and sunshine. We have tested each other’s nerves frequently. She has been my rock, my salvation. I have embraced her family, wish my family could do the same. We have an awesome grandson who brings so many positives to our lives.
Every day I feel more and more blessed having you Shelley in my life. Everyday I move more and more away from that angry man flipping birds at anonymous drivers. I am still a work in progress. I continue to move forward in a positive way. Flipping birds in traffic, getting angry over nothing is not worth it. Being positive, being kind, being supportive, being in love and loved is. It is simple.
Sunday, 23 June 2019
Monday, 17 June 2019
Proud to be a Canadian
I am proud to be a Canadian, having immigrated 51 years ago. My sweetie says that I just got off the boat yesterday. It was September 8, 1968 we landed in Vancouver took the train to Winnipeg. I was 4 and a half. Have little memory other than what I was told.
In the 51 years I have come to appreciate what Canada has to offer. I met my soulmate, I have two great stepchildren and one amazing grandson. The opportunities afforded me through career, education, sports, volunteering, friendships and personal growth are unlimited.
It has been a good week for Canada. St Louis Blues won their first Stanley Cup with a roster 3/4 Canadian born. The Toronto Raptors won their first NBA championship with the whole country celebrating alongside. Brooke Henderson won her 9th golf title the most ever by a Canadian. Canada’s national soccer teams won their games on the weekend.
The Raptors winning was not the most significant event in Toronto this past weekend. There was a gathering of fans, actors from the iconic hit TV show Degrassi Junior High called Degrassi fanapalooza. Celebrating the success and continued fascination with the show. The show ran for 4 years on national TV and seen by millions around the world.
The show made stars out of regular kids. Teenage girls had crushes for Joey Jaramuzzi and the boys crushed over Caitlyn Shaw including myself. The show was groundbreaking as it dealt with issues kids were dealing with at the time and are still. Drugs, alcohol, sex, pregnancy, body shaming, bullying, depression, single parenthood, suicide. It was not sensationalized. It was real. There will never be another show like it again.
The shows legacy is that it made it easier for kids to deal with real situations and it endeared itself around the world. None of the actors became famous, most of them went back to their regular lives raising families and regular careers. Unfortunately one of the actors has passed his real life mirrored his on screen life.
It was a great show and spawned some spin offs. The legacy will live on and I hope everyone loved their reunion in Toronto this past weekend. Life lessons were learnt and experienced and the world and Canada is better for it.
In the 51 years I have come to appreciate what Canada has to offer. I met my soulmate, I have two great stepchildren and one amazing grandson. The opportunities afforded me through career, education, sports, volunteering, friendships and personal growth are unlimited.
It has been a good week for Canada. St Louis Blues won their first Stanley Cup with a roster 3/4 Canadian born. The Toronto Raptors won their first NBA championship with the whole country celebrating alongside. Brooke Henderson won her 9th golf title the most ever by a Canadian. Canada’s national soccer teams won their games on the weekend.
The Raptors winning was not the most significant event in Toronto this past weekend. There was a gathering of fans, actors from the iconic hit TV show Degrassi Junior High called Degrassi fanapalooza. Celebrating the success and continued fascination with the show. The show ran for 4 years on national TV and seen by millions around the world.
The show made stars out of regular kids. Teenage girls had crushes for Joey Jaramuzzi and the boys crushed over Caitlyn Shaw including myself. The show was groundbreaking as it dealt with issues kids were dealing with at the time and are still. Drugs, alcohol, sex, pregnancy, body shaming, bullying, depression, single parenthood, suicide. It was not sensationalized. It was real. There will never be another show like it again.
The shows legacy is that it made it easier for kids to deal with real situations and it endeared itself around the world. None of the actors became famous, most of them went back to their regular lives raising families and regular careers. Unfortunately one of the actors has passed his real life mirrored his on screen life.
June 17th
Today is the 25th anniversary of one of the most famous days in sporting history. The confluence of major sports feats occurred throughout the day which led people to have one of their where were you when moments.
It started early with Arnold Palmer competing in his final round of golf at a US Open. Down Broadway in New York City the Rangers we’re celebrating their first Stanley Cup in 40 years with a ticker tape parade.
In Chicago the World Cup of Soccer was played for the first time on US soil. In Seattle, Ken Griffey Jr tied Babe Ruth’s record of most home runs (26) before June 30 in his teams 65th game of the season. Back in New York it was game 5 of the NBA finals between the host Knicks and Houston Rockets.
I was in Fargo North Dakota attending a toastmasters conference and in the hotel bar with a number of other conference attendees. The TV was waiting for the basketball game to start when Bob Costas introduced breaking news a picture of a white bronco driving down an LA freeway being followed at slow motion by a sea of police cars.
The car was being driven by AC Cowlings with OJ Simpson in the back with a gun, disguise and a pocket full of cash. OJ Simpson was evading the police after killing his ex wife and her friend 5 days earlier. Yes in my mind he did it. The scene captivated TV screens everywhere. At overpasses groups of people held up signs cheering and shouting for OJ. Several hours later he surrendered to police.
This event predated the internet and social media. It changed the way major events were covered in the media. It changed the way celebrities were viewed in society and affected people everywhere. Everyone to this day has an opinion about OJ Simpson. I shared mine. It was more than a black vs white cultural divide.
ESPN did a documentary as part of their 30 for 30 series simply entitled June 17, 1994. A must watch for everyone. 25 years on and today are we in better shape or not. The same issues then are being played out today with the same dramatic and sometimes tragic consequences. We have come a long way, progress is being made. We still have a long way to go. Be kind be positive be supportive and be accepting of one another.
It started early with Arnold Palmer competing in his final round of golf at a US Open. Down Broadway in New York City the Rangers we’re celebrating their first Stanley Cup in 40 years with a ticker tape parade.
In Chicago the World Cup of Soccer was played for the first time on US soil. In Seattle, Ken Griffey Jr tied Babe Ruth’s record of most home runs (26) before June 30 in his teams 65th game of the season. Back in New York it was game 5 of the NBA finals between the host Knicks and Houston Rockets.
I was in Fargo North Dakota attending a toastmasters conference and in the hotel bar with a number of other conference attendees. The TV was waiting for the basketball game to start when Bob Costas introduced breaking news a picture of a white bronco driving down an LA freeway being followed at slow motion by a sea of police cars.
The car was being driven by AC Cowlings with OJ Simpson in the back with a gun, disguise and a pocket full of cash. OJ Simpson was evading the police after killing his ex wife and her friend 5 days earlier. Yes in my mind he did it. The scene captivated TV screens everywhere. At overpasses groups of people held up signs cheering and shouting for OJ. Several hours later he surrendered to police.
This event predated the internet and social media. It changed the way major events were covered in the media. It changed the way celebrities were viewed in society and affected people everywhere. Everyone to this day has an opinion about OJ Simpson. I shared mine. It was more than a black vs white cultural divide.
ESPN did a documentary as part of their 30 for 30 series simply entitled June 17, 1994. A must watch for everyone. 25 years on and today are we in better shape or not. The same issues then are being played out today with the same dramatic and sometimes tragic consequences. We have come a long way, progress is being made. We still have a long way to go. Be kind be positive be supportive and be accepting of one another.
Sunday, 16 June 2019
Father’s Day
Today in North America we celebrate father’s everywhere. Past, present and future. Father’s no longer with us like my own. Next month will be 14 years he has been gone. I miss him dearly everyday. Only in the last couple of years have I truly appreciated his remarkable life. He was a historian, scholar, administrator, writer, volunteer, traveler, survivor and most important a dad.
A dad who when I needed someone to talk to he was there. When I was in a bind he was there to provide assistance and support non judgemental. Was he perfect, far from it, was he deeply flawed yes. Who isn’t though.
My father continues to watch over me. He has even come to visit me on several occasions. I honour him several times a year with a scotch salute. He loved his scotch.
I am also honouring him everyday by being the best partner to my remarkable sweetheart, by being the best step dad to 2 amazing young adults (Gerry and Kelsey) who continue to amaze and dazzle me in creative ways each day. By being the best grandfather to Oliver (Ollie) the best grandson in the world.
I didn’t know how I would be as a dad and grandfather with no personal experience to draw from. Well that was quickly overcome when Ollie climbed up on to me at age 1 and fell asleep on my chest. Words can’t describe my feelings at that moment. I continue to be amazed by Ollie everyday. The impact he has had on me is incredible.
I am a stronger, confident, balanced man who turns to mush in Ollie’s presence. He warms my heart and mental health.
There is no secret to being a good dad or partner or grandfather. It is to be kind, supportive. To be a giver not a taker. To take risks, make mistakes, be accountable and responsible.
Thank you dad and all the fatherly figures in my life (you know who you are) for leading the way every day. Life is a journey full of wonderful experiences and stories. Sharing your story is a freeing feeling.
A dad who when I needed someone to talk to he was there. When I was in a bind he was there to provide assistance and support non judgemental. Was he perfect, far from it, was he deeply flawed yes. Who isn’t though.
My father continues to watch over me. He has even come to visit me on several occasions. I honour him several times a year with a scotch salute. He loved his scotch.
I am also honouring him everyday by being the best partner to my remarkable sweetheart, by being the best step dad to 2 amazing young adults (Gerry and Kelsey) who continue to amaze and dazzle me in creative ways each day. By being the best grandfather to Oliver (Ollie) the best grandson in the world.
I didn’t know how I would be as a dad and grandfather with no personal experience to draw from. Well that was quickly overcome when Ollie climbed up on to me at age 1 and fell asleep on my chest. Words can’t describe my feelings at that moment. I continue to be amazed by Ollie everyday. The impact he has had on me is incredible.
I am a stronger, confident, balanced man who turns to mush in Ollie’s presence. He warms my heart and mental health.
There is no secret to being a good dad or partner or grandfather. It is to be kind, supportive. To be a giver not a taker. To take risks, make mistakes, be accountable and responsible.
Wednesday, 5 June 2019
Going At My Own Pace
Day 2 of a 3 day mini vacation. It is a staycation. A beautiful day greets me and yet I feel unmotivated. I have a list of projects that I wanted to achieve. I was able to cross one thing off the list yesterday. I will make an attempt to cross two things off the list. However, today did not start well. All I feel like doing is watching crappy campy movies on Netflix. What is wrong with me?
The world is full of depressing news. The attack on women’s rights south of the border is disturbing. What right do men have to determine what a women does to their body. I am pro-choice and always will be. The other thing about the abortion issue I don’t understand is why some men are prone to violence over the issue. Shooting abortion doctors, bombing clinics, and now making it illegal to have abortions. If the roles were reversed well world war 3 would break out. Again it proves that life is not fair.
Last week was Pride week in Winnipeg, culminating with the parade. A colourful explosion of how far rights of the LGBT community has come. I have many friends in this community. They are the most exceptional friends, caring loving and accepting of all.
I recently joined a meet up group Mental Health and Wellness. The first meeting I went to nine people showed up. We all shared our stories, shared resources and shared support for each other. A safe open environment. The world is becoming a safer place for people with mental health issues. The stats are staggering one out of every 5 people that is diagnosed. What about all the people who are suffering in silence? We want to help and support and lead them into the light. Acceptance, awareness are keys. The stigma is shrinking. Being open is acceptable now. Some of the most well known familiar faces from the entertainment, sports, political world are sharing their experiences. It is becoming the new normal.
Everyone either is dealing with mental health issues or knows someone who is. The struggle is real and daily. Be kind, be accepting and be open.
Maybe I have to apply my own principles to my life now and accept that I am making progress and moving forward and my list will be completed at my own pace. Self care takes precedence and I am aware that the list can help in this area and it will at my own pace.
The world is full of depressing news. The attack on women’s rights south of the border is disturbing. What right do men have to determine what a women does to their body. I am pro-choice and always will be. The other thing about the abortion issue I don’t understand is why some men are prone to violence over the issue. Shooting abortion doctors, bombing clinics, and now making it illegal to have abortions. If the roles were reversed well world war 3 would break out. Again it proves that life is not fair.
Last week was Pride week in Winnipeg, culminating with the parade. A colourful explosion of how far rights of the LGBT community has come. I have many friends in this community. They are the most exceptional friends, caring loving and accepting of all.
I recently joined a meet up group Mental Health and Wellness. The first meeting I went to nine people showed up. We all shared our stories, shared resources and shared support for each other. A safe open environment. The world is becoming a safer place for people with mental health issues. The stats are staggering one out of every 5 people that is diagnosed. What about all the people who are suffering in silence? We want to help and support and lead them into the light. Acceptance, awareness are keys. The stigma is shrinking. Being open is acceptable now. Some of the most well known familiar faces from the entertainment, sports, political world are sharing their experiences. It is becoming the new normal.
Everyone either is dealing with mental health issues or knows someone who is. The struggle is real and daily. Be kind, be accepting and be open.
Maybe I have to apply my own principles to my life now and accept that I am making progress and moving forward and my list will be completed at my own pace. Self care takes precedence and I am aware that the list can help in this area and it will at my own pace.
