Saving Lives

Today I donated blood for the 28th time. I remember my first donation, November 10, 2012. I went to pick up Shelley to spend the day. First she says I am going to donate blood. Why don’t you come and see if you can donate too.

For years it is something I always wanted to do, however, thought I was ineligible because I was type 2 diabetic. Shelley assured me that wasn’t the case. I was still sceptical but prepared to give it a try.

After going through the generic questions and having hemoglobin tested. There is a threshold which I passed I met with a nurse to review a whole bunch of questions each one potentially disqualify you from donating. I passed all the questions. I was being asked which arm do I want to use.  I said I am left handed so use my left hand.

Ten minutes later one pint of blood was gone from me. The lady attending to me said thank you for your donation, you just saved 3 lives. I was amazing and pleased that my pint of blood could save 3 lives. A simple act done every 56 to 88 days can save lives.

Seven years later, still donating 4-5 times a year. Feeling excited every time. There have been 3 times which I was deferred (hemoglobin level too low) and had to do the walk of shame. It is a very depressing feeling, short lived yet depressing nonetheless.

Shelley is over 70 donations and every time we donate together I thank her for getting me started. Today was no different one of the ladies asked Shelley if her husband was here as well. She came over and said hi and thanked me.

Donating blood with Shelley is a special way of connecting and sharing our love. We are proud that we are making a difference in the world. You can too, blood it’s in us to give. Be kind be supportive, be engaged in the community.

Managing Difficult Emotions

Today I am starting an eight week course on Managing Difficult Emotions. Difficult emotions can be any emotion. How we respond to our emotions helps shape our personality. From the good, to the bad, to the ugly and everything in between.

I growing up had one primary emotion and that was anger. I would fly off the handle at the slightest provocation. I had a dour demeanour. I could swear like a trooper. F sharp’s would dominate my vocabulary.

I recognized that I had a problem and tried to correct it. I put up a brave front. This was short lived and my demons would pull me back in. Negative thoughts prevailed.

Ten years ago it all started to change for the better. I was diagnosed with depression. The light at the end of the tunnel became clearer and clearer. I started seeing all the negativity in my past and how it had an effect on me in every aspect.

Depression opened my eyes and saved me. I re-evaluated every aspect of my life. Changed my support network, as the years rolled by I my whole personality changed and evolved and my grandson entered my life in 2016. Oliver (Ollie) taught me so many life lessons. The biggest lessons were about unconditional love and the importance of being kind.

As a result my anger is in check and is not the prevalent emotion in my personality. I am looking forward to understanding and dealing with difficult emotions. I am looking forward to discovering more about myself and more about my emotions and use them in a positive way.

Sometimes it is Hard Not to Be Judgemental

The other day I was out at a bar and one gentlemen was being belligerent, rude ignorant and every second word started with F sharp. He was intoxicated and the more he drank the worse he became. He would call out other customers and the owners.

Several people attempted to calm this gentleman down and it only wound him up even more. He would not calm down and was asked to leave.

I did everything in my power to not judge him, however, I did judge him, not only judged him and I stereotyped him. Usually, when this happens I need a mental health tune up.

Later that night I got it. On my way home I stopped at the bank to use the ATM. A young lady was hunkering down for the night. As I left I wished her a safe night. She said thanks. I got in the car and openly wept for a couple of minutes. Driving away I thought I need to do something. I drove by a McDonalds and almost stopped. I didn’t.

Why didn’t I. Was I judging? What was I really afraid of? Now I started judging again, except I was judging myself for my inaction.

A couple of days later and I stopped at the same ATM.  This time there was a young male getting ready for the night. I handed him a completed McDonalds coffee card and wished him a safe and restful night.

Years ago, I would have had walked right by without even noticing or giving a single thought. Years ago I was full of white privilege, anger and entitlement and thought I was hot shit. Years ago, I would have thought locking up the homeless was the way to go.

I know better now, everyone has a story to tell. I have my own story to tell. Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with depression. I sought treatment, saw counsellors, went on medication and was open with my depression. Telling everyone. Yeah some people didn’t want to hear it. Lost friends, social network and recognized that family is more than blood. I was venturing down that path where I could of been the homeless person. You never know we could all be one step away from sleeping on a floor in the lobby of a bank.
#BeKind

Two Fathers

I met my soulmate Shelley in 2006, we starting dating in 2010. Almost 10 years later we are still going strong. Through thick and thin. Some days we rued loving each other. Ultimately our bond is strong.

We had many differences and many similarities. Shelley was born and raised in Dauphin Manitoba, she is of Ukrainian heritage and darn proud of it. Dauphin is small town values with big city heart. At an early age she developed a love for curling and became an accomplished curler herself. She loves the game and knows all about the game and 2 years ago we volunteered at the World Men’s Curling Championship in Las Vegas. She met all her curling heroes and was the life of the party amongst the other volunteers. She loves watching curling and has got me interested in curling as well.

She is and was deeply proud of her parents. Her mother Lil was a dispatcher with the RCMP detachment in Dauphin, the life of the party and lover of Louis Armstrong. When her mom was sick and in hospital RCMP personnel from all over came to visit. At her retirement ceremony she was given a red surge standing ovation. She was beloved by all.

Her father was a WWII vet who served with distinction in the Royal Canadian Air Force and is buried in the veterans section of Dauphin cemetery. After the war he was employed with the PFRA (Prairie Farm Rehabilitation Association). First in Biggar Saskatchewan where he met the love of his life Lil than later in Dauphin.

Shelley was the apple of her father. His nickname for her was Spit or Spitfire named after the type of plane he flew in the RCAF. Unfortunately, Gerry died several months after Shelley’s wedding. Gerry is never far from Shelley’s thoughts. He sounded like a great man. A great man with simple values and instilled a lot of wisdom, laughter and life onto Shelley.

My father and Gerry had some similarities, they were both born in November, distinguished in their respective fields, served in the Air Force. My father honour his service commitment by serving as an Education Officer with the RAF (British Air Force) from 1950-52.

This coming Saturday the 16th would have been his 90th. They both married their soulmates on their second marriage. Both raised great children who found each other in later life. We are immensely proud of our fathers and share their stories wherever possible.

Love you Shelley to infinity and beyond

Lest We Forget

Today is Remembrance Day in Canada and Veterans Day in the United States. It is important to never forget the sacrifices the brave men and women made and continue to make so that we can have the freedom and liberties we come to appreciate.

Whenever I see anyone from the military I thank them for their service. I have good friends who have served and continue to serve. They are dedicated, honorable and proud of their contributions. We need to be proud of their service. Too many veterans have served and returned and then promptly forgotten about.

When governments look to cut service, one area they look at is veterans affairs. Yet when Nov 11 rolls around or a big war anniversary our elected officials are there to spout off how proud they are of our veterans. How hypocritical.

Another example Canada’s self absorbed hockey guru Don Cherry spouted off about why new Canadians do not wear poppies. Don Cherry is extreme white privilege. He is known to put foot in mouth for anything non white or non Canadian. I hope the network does the right thing and put him out to pasture. He has become non relevant.

Celebrate veterans every day of the year not just November 11. Many of them come back and experience PTSD, depression and anxiety. Their career choice is full of perils and risk when they get deployed. They leave behind husbands, wives, children, parents, siblings, friends to go and serve. Some pay the ultimate sacrifice. Some return broken and need our help and support. Some do not want to share their experience because it is too traumatic. Let’s give veterans all our love and support, the resources they need.

Be kind and supportive. We never know what someone is struggling with. Lest We Forget.

Sober October

The month of October has passed and it was a sober one for many reasons. Due to some health issues I decided to go the month without alcohol. I am not a big drinker to begin with however, I do like my beer after all it is “ The Nectar of the God’s “. It was pretty easy to do. I will do it again.

In my home town Winnipeg, we are undergoing a crime rampage. Murders, arson, liquor store thefts and the most heinous act of violence I have heard occurred in our town last week. An innocent 3 yr old boy named Hunter was stabbed while asleep by his mother’s ex-boyfriend. Gut and heart wrenching. People have gone numb. My mental health took a hit last month. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this. Hunter was taken off life support and died yesterday. He was just starting out and never had a chance. What kind of person would attack a defenceless innocent boy. Words cannot describe the perpetrators thought process.

My grandson Oliver is 3 and a half and I have thought about him a lot. I would be absolutely devastated if anything happened to a Oliver. He brings immense joy and happiness to my life. I was speaking to grade 7 students last week, sharing my mental health journey. One of the questions a student asked me was what lessons am I teaching my grandson. I have taught him about kindness, being aware of his environment and to enjoy life and he has taught me about unconditional love.

The attack on Hunter has left me devastated and wanting to be part of the solution. What is fuelling all this rage. We can no longer turn a blind eye to mental health, addictions, poverty, socio-economic issues, racism.

For the sake of our city we have to sort this out. No more can we say it doesn’t affect me because it is not in my backyard. Everyone is affected. Everyone can chip in and be the solution. We look for leadership to our politicians. We have to look elsewhere. We are the solution. The solution is to be active, engaged, kind, supportive. We have great resolve. I will continue to do my part.