The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same

Growing up Saturday Night Live became required viewing. Wherever we were on a Saturday Night we had to end up at someone’s house to watch SNL which was followed by a Don Kirschners rock concerts.

The cast was exceptional with classic segments Blues Brothers, Samurai diner and other variations, the Loepners, Coneheads and many other class bits. Weekend Update with Chevy Chase and Gilda Radner as Rosanne Rosanna Danna. Point Counter Point with Dan Acroyd/Jane Curtis and the two a Wild and Crazy Guys.

The past couple of years of SNL have become required viewing. Their political satire have been outstanding and spot on cameo’s from Alec Baldwin, Robert De Niro, Matt Damon, John Goodman, Maya Rudolph and Weekend Update with Colin Jost/Michael Che. If you are feeling low it is a good cure for mental health. Laughter has always been the best medicine for what ails us. Every other President has enjoyed their satirized of themselves. The orange menace has taken it upon himself to call out SNL for doing what they do best. He has even had a go at our national broadcaster CBC for cutting out his cameo from the movie Home Alone 2. I think he has more important things to be concerned about rather than these trivial matters. Yet there he goes on another Twitter rampage. I think it is clear that he either has early onset dementia or some mental health challenges.

As someone who deals with depression and anxiety on a regular basis I can offer you some help.  First of all become aware of what is happening. Become educated about it. Share and seek help don’t internalize it. It is a sign of strength to seek out help and acknowledge what is happening. There are so many like minded people out there to offer support. One in three people deal with some form of mental health issues. Now-days there are so many resources to assist. I go into schools, companies and universities to share my story. The resources available today certainly outshine what I had in my school. We had one guidance counsellor for the whole school and he was the least bit interested in your problems. He only wanted to talk about career guidance.  There is no need to be silent and if you can offer a hand up. Be kind and be supportive.

This year we have seen a tremendous amount of outstanding people leave us this year. People I grew up watching, listening to, influencing and inspiring me during the 70’s and 80’s. it started early with Darryl Dragon who can forget the Captain and Tennille variety show. Bob Einstein (Super Dave Osborne) always good for comic relief with his asinine stunts. Mean Gene Okerlund the best Pro Wrestling announcer ever. Carol Channing actress, singer, dancer. Ron Joyce co-founder of Tim Horton’s (evil empire). He would be appalled at how far his company has sunk. Albert Finley excellent British actor best known for his work in Erin Brockovich.  Jan-Michael Vincent from that terrible show Airwolf. Michael Wilson (Mulroney’s finance minister). Joe Schlesinger great news reporter. Katherine Helmond matriarch of the satirical show Soap which launched the careers of Billy Crystal among others. Andre Previn composer, conductor and one of Mia Farrow’s husbands. Luke Perry from 90210 Fame never watched the show. Other than Ed Asner she was the last remaining cast member of the Mary Tyler Moore show Georgina Engel. Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes of Dallas). Rick Ocasek lead singer of the Cars and the man who gave us Two Tickets To Paradise Eddie Money.

Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca from Star Wars) watched the original and no other one. Peggy Lipton Mod Squad the one with big hair and knee length boots. Funny men Tim Conway and Arte Johnson from the Carol Burnet and Laugh In shows. Easy Rider Peter Fonda rode off into the sunset. Philip McKeon played Linda Lavin’s son on Alice. Valerie Harper on Rhoda, Cokie Roberts great ABC news reporter and one of the first women in the business. Diahann Carroll who was great in everything. Danny Aiello great actor I remembered him best for playing Madonna’s dad in one of my favourite song’s music video Papa Don’t Preach. Great character actors Ron Liebman and Rene Auberjonois. Rudy Boesch finished 3rd in original Survivor. Rutger Hauer the original Blade Runner. Father of ALF Max Wright. Rip Torn perfect foil to Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Pulitzer Prize winner Toni Morrison who brought stories of the African American perspective to light. We had  Presidents, Prime Ministers and Presidential hopefuls leave us in Jacques Chirac, Bob Hawke and Ross Perot.

These people all left us in 2019 and left their mark on the world. They will be remembered for entertaining, inspiring, motivating us.

2019 What A Year

As the year winds down, a time to reflect on the year. January seemed so long ago. The end of 2018 was not good for me. I was falling apart, could not concentrate and was messing up simple tasks.

The start of 2019 was no better. On the very first day I almost electrified myself. I was in need of help. On the weekend I went to the access centre and told my NP and she granted me time off. I had never done this before. Mentally I was not functioning well and the longer it went the worse it became. I took 2 weeks away from work for my mental health. I went to EAP, went to Mood Disorders group session visited with close friends. Read books, watched TV, went walking, did crosswords and blogged.

At the end of the 2 weeks my NP asked if I needed more time. I probably could have used more time however, I felt good and refreshed and went back to work. Back at work I settled into a routine and avoided mistakes. My colleagues noticed a change, a change for the better.

In March I turned 55 and became a senior and enjoyed and still are enjoying my senior discounts. Shelley and I spent a great month with our grandson. He is the best little bundle of joy in the world. Love you Ollie.

Over the summer I started dealing poker two nights a week. Each time out I feel more and more confident and quicker in my decision making abilities. I believe it also has made me a better poker player. Poker is a game of skill and strategy and you are not just playing your cards, but each player and their cards.

In the fall I developed pneumonia and this literally kicked me in the teeth both mentally and physically. All my resources felt depleted. No energy, no desire to do anything. Simple self care aspects were ignored like hygiene, reading, walking. I just wanted to sleep and watch mindless trash on tv. To show the state of mind I was in, one day stopped at McDonalds for a snack and left the car running in the parking lot. For about 30 minutes. I realized when I looked for the car keys. When I got back into the store after shutting the car off. I laughed and laughed. This is in stark contrast to what I would have done years earlier. I would have beat myself up, festered and stewed about how stupid I was and on and on.  I have come so far and yet still a work in progress.

Some positives to finish off the year started around my favourite holiday (American Thanksgiving). Successfully donated blood, got word that pneumonia had cleared. I shared my story at several schools which always brings me great solace and inspiration. I started a class on dealing with difficult emotions. Learning about mindfulness, wise mind, positive emotions and the outcomes. Another 4 great weeks to go and learn new tools.

Shelley and I are looking forward to a great positive year and decade as we venture forth. I have an idea for my 2020 theme. This years theme was focus on abundance and we did.

Lead With Kindness

I have mentioned on several times that every one has a story to tell. That living with reality is a daily occurrence. Some days are better than others and that we are to be kind and offer support at all times.

As Maya Angelou said “ Try and be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud “.

There are some people where I am their rainbow and others where they are my rainbow.

Last week I shared my story at the same school as a couple of weeks ago. Once again it was a wonderful experience. The students ask awesome questions and have inspiring comments. Some of the students are dealing with their own issues or family members. In my story I mention my father dying and one of the students said his mother died a few years ago.

Grade eight students having to grow up real fast and deal with some pretty heavy stuff. I am glad that they have great resources and programs to assist and help make it easier to deal with. The school psychologist is an amazing multi talented lady who has tremendous compassion and empathy for all the students. The schools are doing an amazing job preparing students for the future. School is not about the 3 R’s anymore.

I love sports all types except for baseball because it is two people playing catch.  I have a number of favourite teams. I have great respect for the athletes. Most of them are doing great things and give back to the communities. There are countless examples of exemplary athletes going above and beyond.

Two examples come to mind retired NFL football players Warwick Dunn and Kurt Warner.
Warwick Dunn was raised by a single mom who was a police officer and died in the line of duty. He raised his siblings and created a charity called Home For the Holidays whereby he provides new houses to single mothers.

Kurt Warner was stocking shelf’s at a supermarket when he got the call by the St Louis Rams to play quarterback. He became a super bowl champion, a hall of famer in both the NFL and arena leagues. A broadcaster and him and his wife have a foundation that helps intellectually challenged people. The lasting story I have of Kurt is when he is out for dinner with his family they choose one table in the restaurant and pay for their meal. The kids decide.

A couple of examples of people being rainbows in someone’s life.  Who are you going to be a rainbow for and who is going to be your rainbow.

Refresh, Restore, Regenerate

I was celebrating the week of my favourite holiday American Thanksgiving on vacation by watching football. During this week off I had lots of great moments and discovery.

One of the great moments was discovering the restorative properties of afternoon naps. Four out of the seven days I took advantage of this. Each time I awoke I felt refreshed, reenergized.

The first day was attending a class on managing difficult emotions. Learning to practice mindfulness,   wise mind and understanding the role emotions play in our life and how to deal with them. My sweetie took this class and marvelled about it and she practises the principles every day.

The next day was medical stuff, blood work, chest X-ray ( pneumonia all cleared up) dental appointment ( will have to have on my third filing in 55 years). I had my first one at age 44. I also donated blood for the 28th time.  I love saving lives.

The third day I shared my story at a middle school. Spoke to 2 grade 8 classes. The school is in the west end of the city, ethnically diverse and culturally aware. The students were amazing. Asked great questions and offered wonderful comments. I wish this program learning about mental health was available when I went to school.  When I went we had one guidance counsel or for the whole school. He was not the least bit interested in your personal issues, he was more concerned about career guidance. Now they have resource and guidance counsellors, social workers, and psychologists.  Education has changed for the better.

Growing up being a male, I was a shy introverted young man who wore glasses and had an acne problem. We didn’t dare tell anyone we weren’t feeling right. We were told to suck it up, quit being a wimp, be a man.

As a result we internalized everything and waited for it to bubble up and come out. It often came out in anger, rage, irritability and other negative ways. The macho he-man approach is bullshit.

Now, I have learned to show my emotions, be open, be supportive and be kind. it is a sign of strength.

The rest of the week off was spent chilling with my sweetie. Going back to work I felt great and recharged looking forward to my next days off and my next opportunity to share my story.

Peace.