This word has been used a lot recently and not always correctly. Correct examples of freedom are Allied troops liberation of occupied countries and concentration camps during WW11. Prisoners released from custody and not recommitting crimes. Nelson Mandela being freed from prison on February 11, 1990 after 27 years.
Survivors of narcissistic people finally cutting the strings and becoming free. I am in this category. Under the narcissist spell my life was not mine. My ideas thoughts were not accepted. My feelings were enmeshed with the narcissist. I took on their heartache. I became their surrogate.
Relationships were skewed and not real. I felt insecure, fearful, scared and afraid to be independent. Was constantly looking for approval in all the wrong places. I had a hard time saying no. I wanted to please everyone. If I didn’t I considered it a failure. One way for me to escape was to lie. To create elaborate stories about my life and I would live these lies.
As a result creating boundaries was fruitless. I would not honour them or the narcissists would walk all over them. Several years ago a switch occurred within me thanks to special friends in my life. I started believing in them and what they were telling me about the narcissists in my life.
Through their words, my actions, help of professionals I found my strength to gain back control of my life. To cut the strings and be free. It wasn’t just this it was believing in myself that I can have healthy, meaningful, unconditional relationships.
The one person I started believing in was myself. I would tell myself I love myself. I pushed back against the narcissists. Setting appropriate boundaries and resetting them for my well-being, mental and physical health.
In discussion with my counsellor early this week we talked about boundaries. Healthy and unhealthy boundaries. The boundaries I put up around myself to keep others out and to prevent myself from moving forward hindered my growth. I now have positive boundaries and keep those that can harm me at a distance with boundaries which I control.
The key word was freedom. Having healthy boundaries and relationships is freeing. Freedom to do and say what I want within reason. The freedom to be. Freedom is a choice.
We live in society with rules, regulations, restrictions and laws. We can respect these and still have our freedom. The pandemic has been a real challenge of our boundaries and freedom. My circle (bubble) has chosen to respect these parameters. Has it been tough the last 2 years. Definitely, have we thought of giving up. Perhaps. Is there light at end of the tunnel. Sure. Being the silent majority during the pandemic has been difficult yet necessary.
These so called protesters and their convoy’s have proven that freedom is definitely a choice. They see the man dates, restrictions as an infringement on their freedom. Yet they made the choice to not abide by the mandates. They are acting like the school yard bully ranting and raving. It’s like whoever yells the loudest.
The silent majority will prevail. The macho bravado can only last so long. It’s like the narcissist, remove the oxygen from their path and they will starve themselves.
