I attended an information meeting for a new proposed addictions treatment centre the other day. The architectural firm displayed their conceptual design for the facility. The facility will be built in a residential area on the west area of town alongside a creek.
The area housed a hockey arena and curling rink which has long been shuttered and left in disarray. A new purpose for a great area has become a polarizing issue in our city.
It will be a beautiful enrichment for the community and city providing a much needed place for people dealing with their addictions to get the help they need.
Unfortunately, at this meeting the detractors and naysayers outnumbered the supporters. Why are people opposed to this facility? They have been told that their property value will depreciate. The aesthetics of their suburban life will be upheaved because of the clientele this recovery centre will attract. That the facility needs to be in an industrial area not residential.
Well I got news for you, all the other treatment centres in our city are located in residential areas not industrial. They are established supportive members of their community areas with no incidents to the public involving the residents.
A family who lost their son 2 weeks ago to death by suicide from addictions was in attendance showing their support for the project. These detractors had the audacity to call them out saying they didn't do enough to help their son. I couldn't believe it. What if it was their loved one? How ignorant, insensitive and inconsiderate can people be?
I 100% support this project and am prepared to do whatever I can to ensure it is built. I would be prepared to volunteer at the facility once it is built. Please take the time to know all the facts and support this project. Check out their website at www.bruceoakerecoverycentre.ca
Wednesday, 15 August 2018
Sunday, 12 August 2018
Saving Grace
This weekend marks the 4rth anniversary of Robin Williams death by suicide. At the time, I like most others was shocked to hear of his passing. A terrific comedic genius gone too soon. From his stand up routines (my favourites were his dissection of the sport of golf and his appearance on Johnny Carson's penultimate show) to his comedic movies again my favourites (Good Morning Vietnam and Mrs. Doubtfire) to his portrayal of John Keating in Dead Poets Society.
What we didn't see was his inner struggles, his pain, his hurt. All of this was clearly on display in his films, stand up routines. However, it was masked so that we couldn't see through all the laughter, immersion of his characters.
When someone dies by suicide, it is to end ones suffering, ones pain. It is not a Sign of Weakness. I once came close 18 years ago. April 2000, I was alone in a hotel room sitting in the dark thinking of how no one would miss me if I never came home.
What stopped me was the TV was on and CNN was showing live coverage of a reunion between a boy and his father. I reached out to my father. One of the toughest phone calls I ever made. My father reacted with no judgement and asked how he could help. He was even prepared to jump on the next plane and come and get me.
I am forever grateful to my father and the story of Elian Gonzalez for saving me.
Everyone has a story and we don't know what that story is. So be kind and be prepared to reach out when someone is in need. You could be there saving grace.
Robin Williams entertained millions and only a few saw his daily struggle. The struggle is real.
For the last 3 years, I have had the privilege of sharing my story to middle and senior high school students. Each time after sharing there is a comment and question and answer session. One student wrote a comment how they were pleased that I was here to share my story that day.
Everyday I am grateful and thankful that I am here and that my openness with depression could help even 1 person. This is what keeps me going everyday.
What we didn't see was his inner struggles, his pain, his hurt. All of this was clearly on display in his films, stand up routines. However, it was masked so that we couldn't see through all the laughter, immersion of his characters.
When someone dies by suicide, it is to end ones suffering, ones pain. It is not a Sign of Weakness. I once came close 18 years ago. April 2000, I was alone in a hotel room sitting in the dark thinking of how no one would miss me if I never came home.
What stopped me was the TV was on and CNN was showing live coverage of a reunion between a boy and his father. I reached out to my father. One of the toughest phone calls I ever made. My father reacted with no judgement and asked how he could help. He was even prepared to jump on the next plane and come and get me.
I am forever grateful to my father and the story of Elian Gonzalez for saving me.
Everyone has a story and we don't know what that story is. So be kind and be prepared to reach out when someone is in need. You could be there saving grace.
Robin Williams entertained millions and only a few saw his daily struggle. The struggle is real.
For the last 3 years, I have had the privilege of sharing my story to middle and senior high school students. Each time after sharing there is a comment and question and answer session. One student wrote a comment how they were pleased that I was here to share my story that day.
Everyday I am grateful and thankful that I am here and that my openness with depression could help even 1 person. This is what keeps me going everyday.
Sunday, 5 August 2018
Keep Moving, Keep Pushing Through
These words were used by Brian Dawkins in his Hall of Fame Induction Speech last night. He gave an impassioned 22 minute speech where he praised his teammates, coaches, Philadelphia Eagles, fans and his family.
There's hope, there is something on the other side. Don't stay where you are keep moving, keep pushing through. He is referring to his struggle with depression and how close he came to dying by suicide.
He credits his wife for encouraging him to seek professional help. He credits his family and teammates for keeping him focused.
I can relate I credit my sweetie for suggesting I have depression and encouraging me to seek professional help. I did and have become open and honest about my struggle and journey.
Everyday more and more people come forward and share their struggle and journey. People from all walks of life. There is no shame, no weakness in admitting your struggle.
Being a male there was a certain machoism that had to be maintained. You couldn't show weakness. You couldn't cry in public. You had to have a tough exterior. This is all bullshit.
Once I became open about my struggle, I found like minded people who understood the struggle and could relate either directly or indirectly.
Occasionally, I would come across someone who did not want to hear about my struggle. That's okay they were not ready.
Keep moving, keep moving forward and reach out when you need to.
There's hope, there is something on the other side. Don't stay where you are keep moving, keep pushing through. He is referring to his struggle with depression and how close he came to dying by suicide.
He credits his wife for encouraging him to seek professional help. He credits his family and teammates for keeping him focused.
I can relate I credit my sweetie for suggesting I have depression and encouraging me to seek professional help. I did and have become open and honest about my struggle and journey.
Everyday more and more people come forward and share their struggle and journey. People from all walks of life. There is no shame, no weakness in admitting your struggle.
Being a male there was a certain machoism that had to be maintained. You couldn't show weakness. You couldn't cry in public. You had to have a tough exterior. This is all bullshit.
Once I became open about my struggle, I found like minded people who understood the struggle and could relate either directly or indirectly.
Occasionally, I would come across someone who did not want to hear about my struggle. That's okay they were not ready.
Keep moving, keep moving forward and reach out when you need to.
Monday, 30 July 2018
July, Always a Tough Month
July is always a tough month. A month of heavy hearts, reflection and remembrance. In July, my father and my best friend both died within 3 years and 3 days of each other. They both died on Fridays. I used to be afraid and fearful of Friday's in July. Wondering who close to me was going to die next and couldn't wait for the month to end. I walked around on eggshells all month. Not a fun place to be or even good company to be around.
A couple of years ago I changed my attitude about July and embraced it. The fear went away. The memories will always remain, they don't shackle me anymore.
I miss them everyday. I honor their memory by drinking a glass of scotch to celebrate my father's life. For my friend it is a glass of dark beer. I feel their prescence around me all the time. I am comforted by this knowing they are shining their love, wisdom and guidance down on me.
Last week was very depressing and bittersweet. Our grandson was staying with us and we took him home to his parents. We love him and his parents so much, we wish that 2 provinces didn't seperate us.
It isn't until he is gone that we realize what a benefit having him with us is to our mental health. It is hard to be depressed in his presence. He brings joy discovery and adventure to our lives. Not to forget the greatest cuddles.
So for a couple of days we moped around lacking energy and devoid of emotion. After a couple of days we realized the pity party wasn't much of a party. Instead we decided to count our blessings rather than our stressings.
Number 1 on this list was our perfect grandson. Just thinking of him fills my heart with joy. I know he is back home and still a bundle of joy. I am going to choose to use my time to planning the next visit with him.
If you look at the calendar to be sad or happy, you will always find reason to be sad. Instead count your blessings and look to your heart.
A couple of years ago I changed my attitude about July and embraced it. The fear went away. The memories will always remain, they don't shackle me anymore.
I miss them everyday. I honor their memory by drinking a glass of scotch to celebrate my father's life. For my friend it is a glass of dark beer. I feel their prescence around me all the time. I am comforted by this knowing they are shining their love, wisdom and guidance down on me.
Last week was very depressing and bittersweet. Our grandson was staying with us and we took him home to his parents. We love him and his parents so much, we wish that 2 provinces didn't seperate us.
It isn't until he is gone that we realize what a benefit having him with us is to our mental health. It is hard to be depressed in his presence. He brings joy discovery and adventure to our lives. Not to forget the greatest cuddles.
So for a couple of days we moped around lacking energy and devoid of emotion. After a couple of days we realized the pity party wasn't much of a party. Instead we decided to count our blessings rather than our stressings.
Number 1 on this list was our perfect grandson. Just thinking of him fills my heart with joy. I know he is back home and still a bundle of joy. I am going to choose to use my time to planning the next visit with him.
If you look at the calendar to be sad or happy, you will always find reason to be sad. Instead count your blessings and look to your heart.
Friday, 13 July 2018
Creature of Habit
I admit it I am a creature of habit. I like structure and sameness. When I ride the bus I tend to sit in the same rows of seats and if someone else is there I feel out of sorts.My sweetie always interjects " How can you be out of sorts, there is only one of you"?
I am a creature of habit about travel, always like to arrive at the airport hours before the flight. Once I am at the airport, nothing can go wrong, so the earlier the better.
I am unfortunately a creature of habit when it comes to frustration and disappointment. For me it manifests itself in misplaced anger. It doesn't have to be anything significant or major.
Growing up I was taught to be afraid of the bogeyman, the unknown, things lurking in the dark. I often heard words like its not safe to go for a walk by yourself. Be careful out there. Are you sure you are going to be okay? Stick to the main roads, don't accept rides from strangers and dont give rides to strangers. Don't talk to strangers? There is a difference between being cautious and living in fear Most people were taught to be cautious, I was taught to be fearful.
My whole life growing up was living in fear. Why? My parents split up when I was young and I lived with my mother and had 2 older brothers and all of them were overprotective of me and to some extent are still today. I believe that this is when my depression first started.
We have or 2 year old grandson staying with us and he is full of discovery. Loves to explore. My first thought is to stop him from exploring because the world can be a scary place. My more realistic thought is to not stifle his creativity and discovery as long as he is not placing himself in any danger.
I also watch him and wonder when is the fear going to set in. Well frankly I hope it never doses.
I look back at my life and recognize that a lot of positives and success have come from the times when I have taken risks. Like 8 years ago this week, I took a risk and as a result I have the most loving, caring supportive partner anyone could want. I am lucky she allowed me to be in her life.
I have the healthcare position I have because I took a risk 11 years ago with a new department/program. I have great job satisfaction.
Eight years ago, I took a risk by trusting my partner when she indicated that I was suffering from depression and I have embraced it and am open about it. This has led me to speak to school age teens about mental health and create a blog. I do not suffer from depression, I deal with depression.
The next risk I am going to take is to write a book about my journey with depression. Oh yeah and I talk to strangers everyday and even branch out and sit in different seats on the bus.
The world is not scary. the world is full of adventure, risks and discovery. One of my motto's is act like you belong.
I continue to be a work in progress, some days are better than others. Yesterday, I was fearful and afraid and felt like a scared little child/boy. The depression manifested itself into misplaced anger over what turned out to be nothing. Today is a good day. I know it is a cliche, it really is one day at a time.
I am a creature of habit about travel, always like to arrive at the airport hours before the flight. Once I am at the airport, nothing can go wrong, so the earlier the better.
I am unfortunately a creature of habit when it comes to frustration and disappointment. For me it manifests itself in misplaced anger. It doesn't have to be anything significant or major.
Growing up I was taught to be afraid of the bogeyman, the unknown, things lurking in the dark. I often heard words like its not safe to go for a walk by yourself. Be careful out there. Are you sure you are going to be okay? Stick to the main roads, don't accept rides from strangers and dont give rides to strangers. Don't talk to strangers? There is a difference between being cautious and living in fear Most people were taught to be cautious, I was taught to be fearful.
My whole life growing up was living in fear. Why? My parents split up when I was young and I lived with my mother and had 2 older brothers and all of them were overprotective of me and to some extent are still today. I believe that this is when my depression first started.
We have or 2 year old grandson staying with us and he is full of discovery. Loves to explore. My first thought is to stop him from exploring because the world can be a scary place. My more realistic thought is to not stifle his creativity and discovery as long as he is not placing himself in any danger.
I also watch him and wonder when is the fear going to set in. Well frankly I hope it never doses.
I look back at my life and recognize that a lot of positives and success have come from the times when I have taken risks. Like 8 years ago this week, I took a risk and as a result I have the most loving, caring supportive partner anyone could want. I am lucky she allowed me to be in her life.
I have the healthcare position I have because I took a risk 11 years ago with a new department/program. I have great job satisfaction.
Eight years ago, I took a risk by trusting my partner when she indicated that I was suffering from depression and I have embraced it and am open about it. This has led me to speak to school age teens about mental health and create a blog. I do not suffer from depression, I deal with depression.
The next risk I am going to take is to write a book about my journey with depression. Oh yeah and I talk to strangers everyday and even branch out and sit in different seats on the bus.
The world is not scary. the world is full of adventure, risks and discovery. One of my motto's is act like you belong.
I continue to be a work in progress, some days are better than others. Yesterday, I was fearful and afraid and felt like a scared little child/boy. The depression manifested itself into misplaced anger over what turned out to be nothing. Today is a good day. I know it is a cliche, it really is one day at a time.
Monday, 9 July 2018
Actions Have Consequences
A very powerful statement " Actions Have Consequences". These consequences can be both positive and negative. They can affect the masses or a few select people. They can be far reaching or extremely localized.
I have come to understand and appreciate the significance of my actions. Since January 1, my sweetie and I have been compiling a list of all our positive actions. After 6 months we have quite the list.
Conversely some of my actions have ended up with negative consequences. Most significant because of my loose lips I lost a friendship. I said some things that I wish I could take back the minute they come out of my mouth. The damage had already been done.
I am a huge sports fan, in particular, soccer and have been fascinated with the World Cup. Cheering loudly for teams I want to advance and watching the heartbreak and anguish when teams do not win or advance in the tournament. Some players actions have led to their teams failure to advance. Other players actions have led to them crying wolf one too many times and not ending up with the benefit of the doubt in the referees eyes.
On the world stage we have seen the USA President impose tariffs on countries and yet seems bewildered when these countries impose tariffs right back on the USA. His actions have far reaching consequences on a global perspective. Most of them are detrimental.
For me, after losing my friendship I went into a mini tailspin. There is no slippery slope for me I slip into a downward spiral very quickly. It affected my interactions with my sweetie, the negative energy emanating from me can be seen a mile away. Karma can be such a curse. What you put out you get back. Further negative actions on my part only compounded the issue. It affects all aspects of my life. Family, work and social. Sometimes I feel like a powder keg ready to explode. I don't want to.
Negative thoughts pervade my brain, I am at the same time being mindful of watching what comes out of my mouth. It has gotten so bad that my sweetie and I rehearse conversations. I am so lucky to have her in my life as the loving supportive partner.
This is what depression does to me.
I have come to understand and appreciate the significance of my actions. Since January 1, my sweetie and I have been compiling a list of all our positive actions. After 6 months we have quite the list.
Conversely some of my actions have ended up with negative consequences. Most significant because of my loose lips I lost a friendship. I said some things that I wish I could take back the minute they come out of my mouth. The damage had already been done.
I am a huge sports fan, in particular, soccer and have been fascinated with the World Cup. Cheering loudly for teams I want to advance and watching the heartbreak and anguish when teams do not win or advance in the tournament. Some players actions have led to their teams failure to advance. Other players actions have led to them crying wolf one too many times and not ending up with the benefit of the doubt in the referees eyes.
On the world stage we have seen the USA President impose tariffs on countries and yet seems bewildered when these countries impose tariffs right back on the USA. His actions have far reaching consequences on a global perspective. Most of them are detrimental.
For me, after losing my friendship I went into a mini tailspin. There is no slippery slope for me I slip into a downward spiral very quickly. It affected my interactions with my sweetie, the negative energy emanating from me can be seen a mile away. Karma can be such a curse. What you put out you get back. Further negative actions on my part only compounded the issue. It affects all aspects of my life. Family, work and social. Sometimes I feel like a powder keg ready to explode. I don't want to.
Negative thoughts pervade my brain, I am at the same time being mindful of watching what comes out of my mouth. It has gotten so bad that my sweetie and I rehearse conversations. I am so lucky to have her in my life as the loving supportive partner.
This is what depression does to me.
Saturday, 30 June 2018
Happy Canada Day
It is Canada Day long weekend. My country Canada is 151 years young and in September it will be 50 years as a resident and 45 years as a citizen of the greatest country in the world. A country that has a universal safety net. A country that promotes and celebrates the diverse cultures that make up Canada.
As a 4 year old in 1968 I came along for the ride. My father came to teach history at the University of Manitoba. Within two weeks of arriving in Winnipeg my parents purchased a house in a great neighbourhood which reflected the diverse nature of Canada.
From then to now it has been a great journey. A journey with many twists and turns. A journey of great discovery. One of the great discoveries was meeting and developing a loving relationship with my sweetheart. She has opened up many doors of discovery for me. For which I am a better person and eternally grateful and blessed.
She was the first to recognize my depression and has supported me through the highs and lows. She showed me that the world can be a positive kind place and taught me about the power of the secret. It is so true, what you put out people see and react to it. Positive vibes attract positive vibes and conversely so do the negative attract the negative.
My sweetie and I have had different journeys but we have shared one journey together as we became grandparents together.
It is cliche but he is the greatest bundle of joy. This bundle of joy showed me what unconditional love was for the first time and continues to do so. From the first moment I changed him (he peed on me) to how he holds are hands when outside walking in public. I have to shake my head constantly to make sure I am not dreaming. Last night my step daughter was feeling low and we had a great 40 min face time conversation. I did it the unconventional way. My family deeply loves me and I deeply love them.
I love being a Canadian and one of the best health remedies for mental health is to have a family that I love and they love me.
As a 4 year old in 1968 I came along for the ride. My father came to teach history at the University of Manitoba. Within two weeks of arriving in Winnipeg my parents purchased a house in a great neighbourhood which reflected the diverse nature of Canada.
From then to now it has been a great journey. A journey with many twists and turns. A journey of great discovery. One of the great discoveries was meeting and developing a loving relationship with my sweetheart. She has opened up many doors of discovery for me. For which I am a better person and eternally grateful and blessed.
She was the first to recognize my depression and has supported me through the highs and lows. She showed me that the world can be a positive kind place and taught me about the power of the secret. It is so true, what you put out people see and react to it. Positive vibes attract positive vibes and conversely so do the negative attract the negative.
My sweetie and I have had different journeys but we have shared one journey together as we became grandparents together.
It is cliche but he is the greatest bundle of joy. This bundle of joy showed me what unconditional love was for the first time and continues to do so. From the first moment I changed him (he peed on me) to how he holds are hands when outside walking in public. I have to shake my head constantly to make sure I am not dreaming. Last night my step daughter was feeling low and we had a great 40 min face time conversation. I did it the unconventional way. My family deeply loves me and I deeply love them.
I love being a Canadian and one of the best health remedies for mental health is to have a family that I love and they love me.
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