The other day a picture popped up on my Facebook wall, a memory from six years ago. I am wearing a tuxedo at a formal affair. I thought I looked amazing, good and confident.
What struck me the instant I saw that picture was Ugh. I looked that way. That way was smug, arrogant and no smile.
I had nothing to be smug or arrogant about. In fact, I was at the opposite end of the spectrum. Behind that smug and arrogant look was a man who was appearing to be something he wasn't.
I was putting up a brave front, appearing to be self confident and positive when I wasn't. After seeing that picture, cameras do not lie and I didn't like what I was projecting.
This picture was taken within a year of being diagnosed with depression. I never thought being diagnosed with a mental health issue would have such a positive effect on my life.
Let me explain, my partner and I were out for a fall walk when she stopped mid-stride and said " I think you have low grade depression"
"What is it " I responded. She told me. When we got home I looked up the info and the signs and symptoms were staring back at me in black and white.
The light switch had been turned on and I saw what I was dealing with. Several weeks later I had my diagnosis confirmed by my doctor.
No comments:
Post a Comment