Empowerment Through Empathy

Empowerment through empathy is attributed to Tarana Burke who in 2006 is credited with starting the #MeTooMovement. She is a civil rights activist who creates awareness about sexual abuse and inequality in our society.

Up until a couple of years ago the term Me Too was not well established until Alyssa Milano came out with her story of sexual assault and ask others to come forward and share. Unfortunately, many people of all walks of life came forward to share their stories. Their stories brought down some of the most powerful people in society. One of the common themes of all the people brought down was the presence of white male privilege and their sense of entitlement.

Speaking as a white male who has known and experienced the white male privilege, I can tell you that it is easy to be caught up in it on both sides. That male bravado kicks in. Watching a sporting event with a group of people and adult beverages is one example.

 My sweetie and I like to play poker.   Poker tables can be the last bastion of white privilege, especially for a female. Most male players don’t believe women a) know how to play poker and b) if they win they are lucky and c) talk about the female players as (she did this or why did she play that hand). The other day we were playing in a tournament and the TV was showing a women Curling game. One of the male players asked that the TV be turned to a station that showed a real sport and likened the sport of curling to gay wrestlers. Another player lost a big hand and blamed the loss on the fact he had a female dealer. Ugh.

I have been on the other side of the white privilege. I grew up as a shy introvert with glasses and an acne problem who feared everything. I was small for my size and didn’t help that I was a year younger than most of my grade class. I had trouble fitting in. I didn’t have a lot of friends and had an overprotective mother and older brothers. They made me vulnerable and needy of their protection.

One time when I was a teenager I was playing pick up hockey, proud of wearing my Darryl Sittler jersey (yes I was a Toronto Maple Leaf fan), I stole the puck from one of my brother’s friends on several occasions and he threw my stick over the boards. I went home and told my brother and he just shrugged his shoulders.

I can understand and am empathetic to anyone who has been the victim of white privilege. White privilege is about power, control and insecurity. The male bravado, machismo where we cannot show our emotions. We need to suck it up, be a man. This is all bullshit. It is not a sign of strength but a sign of weakness.

It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to show our emotions and it is okay to accept responsibility for our actions. If we did this and do this society would be a better place and a healthier place both mentally and physically. #BeKind