Trying to Learn How to Fight or Flight

In a recent episode of Law & Order SVU, Captain Benson says to a suspect “ When Your House Burns Down; You Have A Clear View Of The Sky”. What this means to me is that when traumatic events happen, there is a ray of sunshine to help ease the pain and lead to recovery.

Everyone experiences some form of trauma in their lives. I took a course through work called Trauma  Informed Care. It was intended to allow us to recognize trauma in ourselves and those we interact with and how we can offer support. Tonier Cain has became an expert in this field, her life was full of trauma and she preserved and survived and inspires others. She is a mother, wife, filmmaker, recovering addict. Her story can be found at www.toniercain.com

One thing I am prone to do is freeze in situations both big and small. It happens at least several times a week. It has happened while driving, most recently driving on the highway with blowing snow and little or zero visibility. I slowed down to a stop and the next thing I know a blast of semi behind jolted me back to reality. It took a couple minutes to get my breathe back on the side of the road. I couldn’t continue driving. Shelley had to take over. Once I was in the passenger seat I began to calm down and regain control. Positive self talk helped and prayer helped.

When Shelley and I argue she can say anything and I freeze and she ends up winning the argument because I concede through non response Other times when caller ID shows up on my phone, I freeze and have angst. Or when talking to someone and they say something unexpected, I freeze before responding.

What is the root cause? As stated before I grew up fearing everything and made to feel vulnerable so I could be saved by my overprotective family. Believe me I want to overcome this situation. Shelley, my supportive network, counselling and understanding my mental health have set me on the right course to overcome.

Maybe all I need is to have more clear views of the sky for greater perspective on life.