I haven't been feeling right for about a month now. I am flat emotionally and out of sorts.
I am allowing the little things to get the better of me. The other day, a perfect example, the zipper on my jacket got messed up and it threw me off for several hours if not the whole day.
Earlier this week I missed work and my brother asked me if it was physical or mental. I replied both. When I returned to work the next day, my manager asked the same question, I replied the same and she said mental health days are important and I am in need of one myself.
Several months ago I was having a stressful day at work. I had been given several new clients in the same week and I said I can't take another one. As soon as I said this one of the nurses said I have a new client for you. I turned around and wanted to tell them to f...off. I bit my tongue instead (still hurts), smiled and said when do you want it to start.
Fake it to you make it, I said as I walked back to my desk.
Last week at work I had a similar situation. I let one of the nurses get to me (push my buttons), all the hairs on my neck stood at attention. I wanted to tell her how I felt except again I smiled and said how can I help you. I then went and vented with one of my support network. It is great to have support close by at work.
I have gained 10 lbs over the last couple of weeks. When I am depressed I reach for my comfort food, snacks and lots of carbs. In fact my partner said the other day, I see you are having another protein free meal.
I am depressed right now. I think it is stress related.
Stress over family, work, health, money. Stress is a bitch.
Right now is a bad page in my book of life. At times like this I have to remind myself that these lapses will happen from time to time. I have to project positive energy so that the lapse doesn't become a relapse
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