Coming Clean

it is good to be back. It is time to come clean. I have made some really stupid decisions in my 53 years. Some of these decisions have caused great anguish to myself and some have caused anguish to others.

I was a slave to money for the longest time. This is starting to change. As of January 2017 my personal debt was 56,000$. For the last several years I had tried my best to hide my debt. Who was I fooling? I was only fooling myself, my partner knew.

Last year she gave me an ultimatum. She knew I wanted to get married. She told me get your debt under control and then we can get married. So in early January I proposed.

It is April 20 and to this date my debt has decreased by 11000$. I have been focused, I have counted every penny,  made sacrifices and  with teamwork from my partner.

Has it been difficult, yes and no. Have there been hiccups, most definitely. I am starting to have a greater appreciation for money and how to use it positively.  I opened up a second RRSP with  monthly contributions. My mental health has wavered through this process. What has helped me through this has been my partner walking side by side with me supporting and loving me. She has provided the framework and plan. She has kept me focused and on track. I love this lady very much. I am looking forward to marrying her and growing old together.

I have embraced my debt in the same way I have embraced my depression. The plan is early 2018 to be debt free.

For me the first step was getting real with myself and how significant money played in my life. How I valued money was putting it above everything else in my life  especially my partner. Money was identified as a problem early on in our relationship. I worked really hard at reducing my debt only to increase it by 1000$. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, it is a sign of strength.

My partner made me do things that made me angry and uncomfortable. I called  my bank and creditors asking for financial help through lower interest rates. I was ashamed and embarrassed by my debt.

These calms had mixed results, however, I am no longer ashamed, embarrassed or angry about my debt. I will keep trying to negotiate with the creditors for better rates.

Through this experience I have learn valuable life lessons and finally see that money can be a compliment not a hinderance to life.

There is no magic wand ( I wish there was) to wave and have everything go away.  Commitment, focus, positive energy and a plan will make the debt go away.

Creating this blog has not reduced my debt, however, coming clean with myself has made me feel lighter. I have also discovered the secret to paying off debt is to actually pay off debt.