Reflection and Rememberence

Since 2005, July has been a very tough month and in particular Friday's in July. For the last couple of years, I have been dealing with the July blip in a positive way. My focus has turned to remembrance and reflection, instead of the calendar days.

I used to tense up and be afraid of Friday's in July. I was nervous about answering the phone or checking email for fear that something bad would have happened. I would eagerly await for Friday to roll into Saturday and let out a sigh of relief that I survived again. Fearing the worst instead of dealing with whatever life presented itself. Now I am learning to roll with the punches and accept whatever transpires transpires.

You see ever since 1989 over the years relatives and close friends have died on Fridays in July. A cousin, uncle, father and best friend. Especially 2005 and 2008. in these years my father and best friend died. It took me a long time to come to terms with their passing and I now honor both of them in the best possible way.

Honor them in my father's case with a scotch salute and wearing a shirt that bears reference to his college days at Oxford in England. Honor Mike by drinking a Ft Garry dark, his favorite beer and having a toast in his honor.

I know that they are watching over me and I feel their presence almost every day. It is comforting to know that they are still around me.

This July four people who I knew or were associated with passed away. One of these people was a lady taken far too soon at 52. I associated with her in the 1980's, hadn't seen her for 30 years. I felt compelled to go to her funeral. Her father had passed years ago and his was the first funeral I had been at where the coffin was in the church. Another was one of the finest basketball players to play Canadian College ball. Bloody cancer.

A close friends father whose funeral (celebration of life) was yesterday and he lived a full rich life with so much love and acceptance. He was a great husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather and sports writer. All of this was captured so authentically by his family and friends. It made me wish I was part of his family. The first time I met him was at a bbq and he was the grill master. He introduced me to how to bbq. The key is to have a beer in your hand whenever you need to flip whatever was on the bbq.

This past Sunday a lady in the block where I live passed away. only 62, she let her demons get the better of her life. This July once again has proven that life is too short and we need to make the most of it and how we deal with it.

I am in the best health I have been in for years. My weight hit a low of 188 for the first time in 15 years. My blood work were at levels that indicate that my diabetes is not even a factor for my health and I gave blood for the 25th time. My mental health mood is great. I know all this sounds good, however, I am being vigilante with my lifestyle both physically and mentally. I know how easy it is to slip and I know that I will slip, its human nature. I also know how to react when I do slip. My support is only a phone call away.

I don't get hung up on the small stuff and don't allow my life to be driven by fear and the unknown. Important lessons I learned and keep on learning from my grandson.