Irrational Fears and the Consequences

The other day, we had an early morning flight. We decided to arrive at the airport the night before a full 8 hours ahead of our flight. It turned out to be a great experience as time flew by. There were about half a dozen other people spending the night.

I was apprehensive and fearful of this. My worst fears were not realized and proved to be irrational and unsubstantiated. I was afraid we would be kicked out. Why was I afraid? What could happen.
Nothing.

I started thinking about other times in my life when I was afraid for what turned out to be no reason. Where was this overwhelming fear of gloom and doom coming from? I didn't have to look far.

My family, particularly my mother, instilled fear in me over practically everything and nothing. Growing up, it would be don't walk alone at night. Don't talk to strangers, be careful driving, don' t flash money, because you may be robbed. Don't smoke, don't do drugs or drink alcohol. Fairly common fears that our parents would talk to us about. However, in my case it was taken to another level.

Don't be too trusting of people because they will take advantage of you. Don't get involved with women who can take your money. People will try to steal your identity, make sure you protect your money, your cards, your PIN numbers. Let's be honest no one wants to steal my identity. Don't travel alone, don't let people listen in on your conversations.

The world is inherently bad and is out to take advantage of you. The only ones who can help you are your family. Family will protect you. They can also create fear when none exists and it gets ingrained into our fabric and not in a good way.

As a result of these fears being ingrained into my mind, I developed an overwhelming sense of fear. I can't help think that everytime i have irrational fears, the tolll it takes on my mental health. Anothet reason to get my fears in check and overcone them.  This has dominated my life, my choices. What has it gotten me? Have I moved further in my life by living in fear. No, by always being fearful I have become I insular in my thinking, ideals.  I have allowed fear to cloud my judgement.

With the help of my partner, I have been slowly picking away at my fears. However, they have become so ingrained that it will take time.

I have even overcome my fear of heights and now will go to the top of the CN tower in Toronto and stand and look down in the glass floor 103 stories up.

Some of my fears will take longer like my fear of snakes. However, the fear of being kicked out of an airport was absurd, irrational and inane n my part.

I resolve that in 2018 my life will not be run by fear. It will be filled with love, adventure, and positivity.  If  I do slip and become fearful over nothing, feel free to give me a swift kick in the you know where.