The month of July has come and gone. A month where 2 great nations celebrate their birthdays. Canada and the United States. A month where amazing feats occurred like Apollo 11 mission to the moon where Neil Armstrong said his famous words “ One small step for man, one giant leap for Mankind”. The air conditioner was invented in 1902, World War 1 started in 1914. Disneyland in Anaheim opened in 1955 just to name a few.
It is also a month where 7 US Presidents died and 2 Canadian Prime Ministers died. Three of the first five Presidents died on July 4rth (John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe). President Garfield was shot and died 3 months later. Here in Canada Louis St Laurent and William Lyon McKenzie King died.
For me personally I suffered great loss with family members and a best friend die. They all died on Fridays. For several years, I became fearful of Friday’s asking myself “who’s next”. I was on eggshells the whole month. I was paralyzed.
July has a lot to offer with great weather, sports, festivals. I didn’t feel like engaging in any of it. I just wanted to cocoon myself and wait out the 31 days and hope they went by fast. As a result I missed a lot and wasted many opportunities. Doors opened and closed.
Thirty years ago my 19 year old cousin died by suicide. I had only met her a couple of times, yet felt a connection. I couldn’t understand why a bright talented attractive young lady would make the ultimate decision. For years, I would cringe when I heard the name Alison or look away when I saw a movie or TV show which depicted the method she used. Five years later her father died and some answers started to emerge and some remained unanswered.
In 2005 my father died and my best friend was diagnosed with cancer and would bravely fight for another 3 years. I remembered getting the phone calls each one early on a Friday morning. By the time Mike died in 2008, when I got the call I knew right away. My Friday’s in July spiralled downward for several years.
Several years later, I met the love of my life my soulmate my best friend and you guessed it our first date was on a Friday in July. Somehow I summoned enough confidence to ask her out and my life changed. I became less paranoid and paralyzed by the events of July and instead of focusing on the negative of their passing I started seeing the positive and celebrating their lives well lived
Life continues to be a journey filled with peaks and valleys. I have discovered the beauty of July.
Every month has its moments. If you are looking for the bad you will find it, if looking for the good you will find it. The choice is ours.
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