Since our return the month went south. First there was the emotional toll the bus crash involving Humboldt Broncos took on us and all of Canada. Then the tragic event in Toronto. It s sad when people lose their life from senseless acts.
It was also an eventful month for me at work. I made two major blunders. I felt devastated and owned the error. I wanted to stew and fester over my error.
I have spent many a day and night beating myself up. My partner asked what was the life lesson learned. At the moment the last thing I cared about was the life lesson. You see, I love beating myself up, wallowing in self pity. It is comfortable for me. I just wanted to do this until I was ready to quit feeling sorry for myself. In the old days I would let the blunder linger for days and weeks feeling low and withdrawn
When I started doing this my partner said "what is the life lesson" "what did you learn". She kept at me until I found a life lesson. It was great therapy. It is what I needed.
It is uncomfortable to accept responsibility for ones actions. It is also liberating and accepting leads to understanding and understanding leads to life lessons. The life lessons I learned were to slow down, be more attentive to details and not let my colleagues get to me. And most importantly, ask Shelley.
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