These are the famous words used by Roberto Duran who quit mid fight against Sugar Ray Leonard. I am reminded of these words because 2 weeks ago an NFL football player Vontae Davis quit his team and the sport at halftime.
They both had their reasons which we may never know or understand. I am sure they had weighed all the pros and cons and decided this was the time for them.
I know for myself when something is not going right, I weigh the pros and cons and if it feels right in my heart, then I know it is the right decision.
The one thing that I would be happy if it quit was my depression and the negative thoughts that prevail my head when I feel depressed. They weigh me down. Even though I can sense when I am feeling depressed it doesn't always work and I end up being surprised at myself when I am depressed.
My mood/attitude changes. I become withdrawn and brooding. I want to cocoon myself and not engage with the outside world. I can become angry very quickly, the bad words spew out of my mouth. I end up yelling at myself and those around me for no apparent reason. The reason is my depression has taken hold of me.
My sweetie who I love dearly understands me more than anyone else and when she sees the cues she lets me know and helps me . Sometimes it takes, hours or even days. Since I was diagnosed the longest depressive span for me has been a few weeks. Before diagnosis, it could be weeks even months. I felt like a ticking time bomb. Not sure when it would explode.
I am glad it has not exploded.
That is what depression does to me and that is why I want it to quit. I fight every day for it to quit. The struggle is real and it is every day. It is exhausting and can be draining. The fight is one I have to win and everyone else dealing with mental health issues has to win.
Stay strong, be positive and reach out for help.
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