Listen to Your Body

Yesterday was not a good day. I had no energy and no motivation. All I wanted to do was stay in and do nothing. So that is what I did. I was listening to my body and it told me to I was tired. Tired emotionally, physically and mentally. It was a kick in the pants day.

That is the funny thing about depression. Some days and sometimes you just can’t explain it. You just have to listen to your body. The thing with me is that I wouldn’t and just make an effort to power through it. The problem is at what cost am I doing this. I have been off work for over a week and I can tell you if I powered through it the choice to be off might not have been mine.

This way I am working to get my strength mentally, emotionally and physically back. If you don’t listen to the signs depression can grab hold and take you down to a dark hole that is hard to escape from. I have been there and what did it get me. I have fought and crawled my way back from that dark place.

I would be angry, withdrawn, irritable. Sometimes for weeks on end. I refuse to address it. I had stigma about reaching out and getting help. I told myself I was okay. I was not and didn’t realize. The sad part is other people saw it. Some people reached out. I was the horse being led to water, only I didn’t drink the water. I would turn around and go back to where it was safest. This was not the healthiest place but it was safe for me. I knew what to expect even if I didn’t like it.

All of this changed eight years ago when Shelley walked into my life and got me to see the real me. The real me was one who was depressed, angry, irritable and withdrawal. She got me to face my demons, address my depression and turn my life around. Since her intervention, I have turned my life around become open with my depression.

I started listening to my body, understanding the signs my body was telling me. Like when I am tired go to bed, when I am tired rest. To understand that there are some people and forces who are out there to create drama in my life and how to deal with it.  I am indebited to Shelley for being there for me. The lessons I have learned and continue to learn are shaping a bright future. It also helps to have an incredible amazing grandson who continues to teach lessons to me.

Continue listening to the body. Be positive be kind and be authentic. I am working on all these aspects. Days like yesterday will continue to happen. They need to be acknowledged and do what you can to get through the day. I am feeling significantly better than yesterday

I am working on leading my depression and leading with gratitude.