Well the last week I have been promoting self care, however, not practicing it. I haven't shaved since last week. Haven't had a shower for a week. Do I stink, hopefully not. I have washed my hair and body washed.
Why haven't I been doing self care. I am struggling. I am feeling vulnerable and afraid. Especially at night time. I can't explain it. I am fearful of driving at night. I start to tense up. I go slower than usual. I am fearful of walking. I have fallen a couple of times. So far only my pride has been hurt.
Four years ago, I fell on the ice, my ankle rolled under my leg and the tibia broke. Three days later I was having surgery. Eight weeks later I was back at work. I was really hoping to be back at work within a week or two at most.
Each time I have fallen I was thinking the worst, however, I bounced right back only with a few aches and pains. My mind flashed back laying on the ground in excruciating pain. I knew I had hurt myself. Two people saw me fall rushed to my aid. I was too proud to admit help. After sitting on the ground for a minute got back up walked a block to my car and drove to my office. Once at my desk the shock, pain sank in. I was driven to urgent care. Within ten minutes an X-ray was taken. Yep broken ankle.
In the four years haven't thought about it except when I see someone in a walking boot and empathize by saying I know what that is like. Recovering, I practised self care every day. It ended up being a watershed momont for me. Like my depression I embraced it and was positive with it. I owe my recovery to my rock, my soulmate, my sweetheart Shelley. She was there for me and is still here for me.
Self care is important for our livelihood, for our well being. It is easy to do, yet can be so hard. Weeks like this one make it so hard.
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